Working with thousands of clients over the years as an online dating coach, I’ve seen so many simple errors intelligent singles make that hamper their chances with online dating.
Before you say online dating does not work (it does), or it will not work for me (why not?), or my friends tell me horror stories (believe me, they are doing something wrong—it’s them, not the app/site), here are some things to think about:
A unique Profile
Short and Sweet sells. No one wants to read a long monologue. Here’s an excerpt of a profile I wrote for a male client that got great traction….and a relationship:
NO: beets, videoconference dates, whining about online dating apps, Red Wings, selfishness, arrogance, snakes. I can’t grow a bougainvillea to save myself. It grows like a weed here and I can’t keep it alive for 10 days.”
We had trouble keeping up with the responses he got!
Your Profile It must be grammatically perfect with no mistakes. Yes, people read these and if they see you using “there” and “their” wrong, they very well may skip right over you. Spellcheck is your BF!
Messages If I hear one more woman tell me the man should reach out first, I’ll lose it!. Men love when you make the first move. If they do send a message, it can be one of two big mistakes:
It’s a short generic message
It’s a 3-paragraph novella where you are cross-eyed by the end with way too much information. Nobody will read this.
The Phone thing Pre-date, why do you need to chat on the phone? Here are the issues with that: A. A 45–60-minute call—client all excited as they have so much in common and the first date expectations have risen astronomically. Very few dates can measure up now.
B. A short, awkward call and no date ensues. This is a bummer because the other person may just not be good on the phone—perhaps a bit reserved, shy, etc. This could have been the right person for you!
Ok, the only time I encourage a phone call is if there is significant distance.
You live within 20 minutes of each other. Go on the date. It’s coffee or a drink. Get dressed and go!
Your photos Nobody, yes, nobody goes to your profile first. Photos make or break you.
If you are serious about online dating and going on good dates or perhaps beginning a relationship, 5-6 great photos are a necessity. And by that I do not mean filtered, air-brushed, highly edited photos. I just mean you at your very best. And current—as in from the past year. And what you will look like when you show up on your date.
Action shots sell. I had a NYC Wall Street-type juggling in a pic. Plus, he bowls. (I guess no one bowls and that grabbed a bit of attention). Not the stereotypical private equity guy, right?
I hope this helps you a bit—I love what I do and enjoy my one-on-one contact with clients. It’s one of the reasons that I sold It’s Just Lunch (I founded it in 1991 and sold out to Private Equity when we had 110 locations globally) as I missed client contact. Remember, it only takes one! For the Silo, Andrea McGinty.
Starting in 2022 it will be possible to ask for the beloved’s hand in marriage while flying over the lunar surface to the sound of Frank Sinatra’s “Fly Me to the Moon”. The one-week interplanetary flight will be carried out using a self-contained and autonomous spacecraft allowing the two lovers to travel alone.
The ApoteoSurprise agency, a French marriage proposal planner specialized in creating extravagant proposals, introduces a whole new service for 145 million dollars which will allow 21st century handsome princes to propose while flying around the Moon. Reaching for the Moon in the name of love is about to become a reality, the ultimate goal of the Paris-based agency being to “stage the craziest and most outstanding marriage proposal of the last 13.8 billion years“.
From March 2022, elite lovers will be able to book the all-included service on the site www.proposeinparis.com and five months later find themselves enjoying the following program:
– Twelve weeks of pre-requisite technical and physical training.
– Takeoff on D-Day from the Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral, Florida.
– Richard Strauss’s “Thus spoke Zarathustra, Op.30” (Theme from 2001 Space Odyssey) resounding in the two space tourists’ helmets when the first effects of weightlessness are felt.
– Arrival in lunar orbit, three days later, flying over the satellite’s grayish surface at only 200/300 kilometers altitude.
The famous ‘Earthrise’ photo from Apollo 8, the first manned mission to the moon. The crew entered lunar orbit on Christmas Eve, Dec. 24, 1968. That evening, the astronauts held a live broadcast, showing pictures of the Earth and moon as seen from their spacecraft. photo:NASA
– Cut-off of all communication with Earth for around thirty minutes while the capsule flies over the dark side of the Moon.
– The Frank Sinatra song “Fly Me to the Moon” played halfway through the orbital flight, allowing the suitor to make his marriage proposal far from any form of human life (engagement ring secretly hidden in his spacesuit).
– A spectacular Earth-rise seen from behind the lunar craters and return trip of nearly four days before atmospheric re-entry and final touchdown.
The flight-plan followed by the space capsule will mirror that of the mythical Apollo 8 mission in 1968. The spacecraft, traveling at a speed of up to 38,000 km/h, will be equipped with eight cameras allowing the couple to immortalize their entry into the history of the conquest of space and the conquest… of love! For the Silo, Nicolas Garreau.
Break ups aren’t so bad when you treat yourself to a nice pair of diamond earrings.
There’s a reason Neil Sedaka’s “Breaking Up is Hard to Do” became a pop classic – because it’s true! But breakups can also be a time to reflect and embark on a new chapter in your life, says Jay Ryan.
“Many people have been through a romantic heartbreak, which can be among life’s biggest challenges. But being single after a committed relationship can also be a good time to rejuvenate yourself,” says Ryan, co-founder of www.breakupgems.com, an online retailer specializing in breakup and divorce jewelry that “celebrates new beginnings.”
“We cater to the growing number of people looking for meaningful ways to bring closure to their past and move forward with confidence,” he says.
For those who’ve recently experienced a split, or are about to (December holidays is the time of the year most long term relationship break ups occur.) Ryan shares several ways to turn your breakup into a makeover — a “breakover.”
https://youtu.be/1GTFvlm0vGM
• Empower yourself with the gift of health. It’s almost a cliché that ‘exes’ lose weight after splitting up; some lose their appetite due to melancholy and some are motivated to look and feel better with exercise and dieting. Don’t punish yourself with spartan regimens, Ryan advises. Eat nutritious foods and train sensibly.
• Treat yourself to a new wardrobe. Clothing can be the bearers of painful reminders, like the sweater he or she got you last year. Consider freshening up your style with new clothes – hey, you’ll probably need them anyway with all that exercise. A new wardrobe can serve as a healthy reminder of the new you.
• Be proactive with your reading. There are many genres of self-help literature, from spiritual to academic. But don’t limit yourself to nonfiction; classic literature not only gives you a great education, it also helps readers increase empathy and better understand emotional complexity.
• Consider a healthy reminder of the new you. It’s a tradition in our society to commemorate a romantic union or celebration with jewelry. Your breakup may likewise be a blessing that allows you to grow as an individual. Consider a ring or other piece of jewelry that will not only mark this milestone but be a personal reminder of your transformation and new beginning.
• Travel adds perspective on a new journey. Whether or not you realize it, a breakup is the beginning of a new life trajectory. Travel – whether it’s time for a change of domestic scenery or a vacation – perfectly symbolizes a new journey. Overcoming a painful separation requires an outside perspective, which is often gained through travel.
• Invite friends over for a dinner party. The depression that is liable to ensue after a breakup often leads to isolation, but that is when you most need your friends! Why not host a breakup party? Rather than blowing it out with a large group of people, which may include strangers, keep it simple with intimate friends you can trust. For the Silo, Ginny Grimsley.
Jay Ryan is the co-founder of www.BreakupGems.com, an online retailer that specializes in fine breakup and divorce jewelry. Each piece in the collection conveys an empowering message of freedom and renewal with designs that are both stylish and meaningful for anyone overcoming a recent breakup or simply celebrating happy singlehood.
There are nowadays millions of single men, and among those, many dream of meeting a woman from Eastern Europe. Indeed, these women are known to be extremely attractive, faithful, and ready to do anything to come to live in Europe. Many dating and marriage agencies have been created to cater for this niche, specializing in so-called international marriages.
Unfortunately, many scams are hidden among these agencies. The websites use the faces of superb young women as bait. Once the vulnerable bachelor is hooked by some carefully worded emails, he is asked for money to cover the cost of a plane ticket as well as the visa fee. The sums involved can go up to 1,500 or 2,000 €, depending on the naivety of the man, and there is generally no way to fight it legally.
Anti Arnaques, the First community dedicated to fight Eastern Europe romance scams
That’s why Anti-Arnaques was created, in order to provide a reliable verification platform to any man who has doubts about the sincerity of the person he is speaking to. It includes:
A unique identity verification system in 2 steps: the Express Background Verification, through the four major Russian social networks, and the Official Background Verification, through the public and private databases of Russian and Ukrainian citizens that are reserved to the official authorities.
A black list containing names and pictures of women known to have practiced scams.
Practical advice to identify risk scenarios.
A forum to exchange ideas on potential risky encounter situations.
Testimony of a scam victim
“Hello, I am Rui, I live in Portugal and I was a victim of a scheme. Nastya or Anastasiya Vorozhnina, living at Lomonosova 97-64, 428000 Novopokrovskoe Russia, deceived me. By mere chance, I only lost 200 €, as well as 24 photos. This scheme lasted about 5 months, but I always resisted to send the full amount of money she requested, which was around 800 € to start with.
I hope to my testimony will help someone, and prevent him to fall into such scheme. These women can be very sweet at the beginning: only after 2 or 3 months she started to ask money. She was an authentic professional, who already appears in your list with other names: if I had knew Antiarnaques.org back then, I would not have wasted so much time.”
Rui, 48 years old, scammed by A.V.
The website Antiarnaques.org (which means Antiscams in French) allows anyone who wants to date a Russian, Ukrainian or Slav women to check the identity of a specific woman. Antiarnaques.org also offers the possibility to check the reliability of any marriage agency, and to consult the black list of Russian women known for fraud.
About Dimitri Berezniakov, the creator of Anti Arnaques
Dimitri Berezniakov launched UKReine.com in 1998: it was the first dating site specializing in international marriages between men from France, Belgium, Switzerland and Canada, and Ukrainian women.
This allowed him have a ringside seat to witness the rise of Russian romance scams: he used to receive emails from men victims of these scams almost daily. Because of the magnitude of the problem, he decided to create Anti Arnaques in 2010, in order to offer a reliable solution to individuals wishing to verify the identity of Russian and Ukrainian women.
Anti Arnaques, le premier site francophone de lutte contre les escroqueries sur le marché de la rencontre russe
Le site Antiarnaques.org permet à tout individu souhaitant trouver l’amour auprès d’une femme russe, ukrainienne ou slave de vérifier l’identité d’une femme spécifique. Antiarnaques.org offre également la possibilité de vérifier le sérieux de l’agence matrimoniale choisie, et de consulter la liste noire de femmes russes connues pour escroquerie.
La rencontre de femmes russes, ukrainiennes et slaves : un marché florissant mais présentant de nombreux risques
On compte aujourd’hui dans l’Hexagone de 16 millions à 18 millions de célibataires, divorcés et veufs, ce qui représente un marché attractif et porteur (CIDJ.com). Et ce nombre ne cesse d’augmenter : le nombre de seniors et de divorcés étant en hausse, de plus en plus d’individus se retrouvent à chercher l’âme sœur.
Parmi ces millions de célibataires, de nombreux hommes rêvent de rencontrer une femme originaire d’Europe de l’Est. En effet, on leur promet des femmes fidèles au physique extrêmement attractif, prêtes à tout pour venir vivre en France. Une multitude d’agences matrimoniales s’est ainsi positionnée sur ce créneau, en se spécialisant dans les rencontres dites internationales.
Malheureusement, de nombreuses arnaques se cachent parmi ces agences. Les sites utilisent les visages de superbes jeunes femmes comme appât. Une fois le célibataire vulnérable hameçonné par quelques emails soigneusement rédigés, on lui demande de l’argent pour couvrir le montant d’un billet d’avion ainsi que les frais de visa. Les sommes en jeu peuvent monter jusqu’à 1 500 ou 2 000 € selon la naïveté de l’interlocuteur, et il n’existe en général aucun recours devant la justice.
Anti Arnaques, première communauté francophone luttant contre les arnaques sentimentales d’Europe de l’Est
C’est pour cela qu’a été créé Anti Arnaques, dont l’objectif est de fournir une plateforme de vérification fiable à tout homme ayant des doutes sur la sincérité de son interlocutrice. On y trouve ainsi :
Un système de vérification d’identité unique en deux temps : la Vérification Express, via des 4 principaux réseaux sociaux russes, et la Vérification Officielle, via les bases de données publiques et fermées des citoyennes russes et ukrainiennes qui sont réservées aux organismes officiels.
Une liste noire répertoriant les noms comme les visages des femmes connues pour avoir pratiquées des escroqueries.
Une liste noire des agences matrimoniales internationales connues pour pratiquer des escroqueries.
Des conseils pratiques et concrets pour identifier les scénarios à risque.
Un forum d’entraide pour échanger sur des situations de rencontres potentiellement à risques.
Ils ont été victimes d’arnaques et témoignent
« Tout a commencé par un mail, et des conversations dans lesquelles on parlait de tout et de rien. Je lui ai proposé de venir en France pour son anniversaire, et la cascade d’ennuis a débuté : pas d’argent pour payer le passeport, pas d’argent pour payer le visa…J’ai donc payé tous les frais. Une fois à l’aéroport, elle s’est soi-disant faiteî arrêter, on lui a interdit de quitter le pays à cause du crédit de son appartement. J’ai eu moult preuves de sa bonne foi, j’ai cru en elle, je me suis senti responsable, je me suis investi à fond. J’ai donné beaucoup beaucoup d’argent, et aujourd’hui j’ai tout perdu.
Je souhaite simplement que d’autres ne répètent pas les mêmes erreurs : je l’ai donc signalé sur Anti Arnaques, s’il vous plaît allez-voir, et faites attention ! »
Joël, 43 ans, arnaqué par E. T.
“J’ai commencé une relation par email avec Anastasiya, elle m’a complétement séduit en quelques semaines. Elle était extrêmement douce au début, puis a commencé à réclamer de l’argent. Par chance, j’ai flairé quelque chose de louche et ne lui ai envoyé que 200 €. J’ai ensuite réalisé qu’elle était présente sur la liste noire d’Anti Arnaques ! »
J’espère empêcher un autre homme de tomber dans le même piège ! »
Pierre, 48 ans, arnaqué par A. V.
A propos de Dimitri Berezniakov, le créateur du site Anti Arnaques
Dimitri Berezniakov a lancé UKReine.com en 1998 : il s’agissait alors du premier site de rencontres spécialisé dans les mariages internationaux entre des hommes originaires de France, de Belgique, de Suisse et du Canada, et des femmes ukrainiennes.
Cela lui a permis d’être aux premières loges pour assister à l’essor des arnaques sentimentales en provenance d’Europe de l’Est : il reçoit alors des emails provenant d’hommes victimes de ces escroqueries quasi-quotidiennement. Face à l’ampleur du problème, il décide de créer Anti Arnaques en 2010, afin d’offrir une solution fiable aux individus souhaitant vérifier l’identité de leurs interlocutrices.
Women’s Studies scholar Becca Anderson has gathered the wisdom from a chorus of fabulous femmes for this one-of-a-kind advice book. From housewives to Hollywood starlets, from standup comedians to startup entrepreneurs, from feminists to Facebook queens, these badass women offer unvarnished and unabashed opinions about love, life, word, men, and sex and share their very frank and forthright thinking on the wild world of relationships.
This delightfully dishy gathering of gal pals is like having a heart-to-heart with 200 of your closest friends. Garrulous girls and loquacious ladies from every walk of life unleash their wicked wit in this humorous and enlightening compilation and tell it like it is.
Price: $15.95 usd ISBN-13: 978-1633536937
Topics include What the World Needs Now, Love Hurts, Lost Love, and Are Men Really Necessary and cover sex, personal ads, blind dates, break ups, weddings, and the prerequisites for the perfect kiss.
Sidebars include quizzes, love and sex bucket lists and topics like “Size Really Does Matter,” and “Cry Me a River, The Weepiest Romantic Movies Ever.”
Wait, there’s more–true tales about wild women of yore that entertain as much as they enlighten.
From Anais Nin to Lily Tomlin, from Amy Bloom to Dorothy Allison, from Drew Barrymore to Chrissy Teigan and beyond, there’s no shortage of sass, sarcasm, or sizzle and a few shocks along the way! For the Silo, Brenda Knight.
What people are saying about Badass Women Give the Best Advice:
These bold bon mots are a solid roadmap for living a full love. I, for one, will be taking to heart all the advice from these very wise and wild women–silver screen queens, comediennes and brilliants writers. You actually can get what you want, provided you listen very closely. Nina Lesowitz, author of The Party Girl Cookbook
“Sometimes we women need quotes and pick-me-ups to get motivated or to have our spirits lifted. Badass Women Give the Best Advice is a book for and about women (no men allowed!). This is not a book that you read once and put away. It’s good as a conversation starter or to refer to when you want to feel big on girl power. Oshun, the Yoruba goddess of love, sensuality, and beauty is just one of the women we learn about in this book. There’s also quick rundowns on writer Simone de Beauvoir, advocate Amelia Bloomer, and much more. So fun!” Heck of a Bunch Blog
A new study of the dating app Jaumo concludes that superficiality in online dating is just a preconceived prejudice. A survey among North American users shows that the majority of participants do find athleticism attractive but a couple of extra pounds on the hips will not necessarily decrease your chances of finding a date.
What attracts Jaumo users?
What is it, that attracts one person to another? Which body features are most important to most people? To answer these questions, Jaumo carried out a survey among more than 4,400 Jaumo users from the US. Jaumo interviewed them over a period of 4 weeks about their preferences in regards to their own body and personal ideals required of a partner. Users could agree or disagree with the statements outlined in the survey.
Image: whoabooty.com
Jaumo users are not only active flirters.
63 percent of the users find an athletic partner attractive and more than half of the respondents don’t mind a couple of extra pounds on their significant other’s hips. It is noticeable that significantly fewer users, namely 42 percent, consider an athletic body sexy. And the sexes even completely agree on this question!
Raw data from Jaumo Survey.
Hairy is not scary.
On the subject of body hair, the female users are pretty much in total agreement: 76% think chest hair belongs on the male body. The male users see this somewhat differently, but nonetheless, 64 percent of respondents agree. A natural look is also preferred in the downstairs department. 63 percent find a hairy pubic area perfectly acceptable and a total of 70% of the women prefer to see hair when they look down.
The way to someone’s heart is through their stomach.
Vegan, vegetarian, low-carb or meat-eater – with so many varied eating preferences, it may be difficult to find a partner with the same nutritional routine. For 77 percent of the Jaumo users, however, a compatible diet with their partner is seen as a must. For the Silo, Racheal A. Mack.
Jaumo founders Jens Kammerer and Benjamin Roth.
About Jaumo
Jaumo is a dating app founded by Jens Kammerer and Benjamin Roth in 2011. Jaumo has 20 million users in 180 countries around the world, more than 2 million of them in the USA and Canada. The dating app is available for free for iOS at the Apple Store and Android at the Google Play Store. The driving force of the two friends from Germany is to offer an uncomplicated and user-oriented product that binds satisfied customers.
Every girl dreams of that perfect wedding, where she is pampered and spoiled, as she embarks on a new life. With one of the world’s most breathtaking natural wonders providing a unique backdrop, Niagara Falls is the place for a magical wedding that you and your guests won’t soon forget.
Marriott’s wedding specialists will ensure the most important day of your life is absolutely perfect, from preparation through the ceremony and reception and into the honeymoon, the bride and groom will be pampered, refreshed and relaxed on their wedding day.
Niagara Falls is a dynamic place all twelve months of the year. Imagine having your wedding or engagement photos with this winter time vista.
Pampering the bride starts the morning of the wedding at Serenity Spa by the Falls where a memorable spa experience will have the bride and her maidens glowing when they step up to the altar. That altar is perched 23 storys above the crest of Niagara Falls in the Marriott’s elegant and intimate Chapel Overlooking the Falls, a majestic setting that is truly awe-inspiring. During the reception, experience elegance with every flawless detail tailored to fit your unforgettable story.
The fairy tale continues in a luxurious Honeymoon Suite overlooking the Falls, with breakfast in bed as befits the newly-wed couple. The happy couple can then spend their first day together with a romantic afternoon of indulgence with Serenity’s Couple’s Ritual Spa Treatment.
Beautiful all year round.
For the guests, Niagara Falls boasts a vibrant night life to keep them entertained once the happy couple steps away to begin their honeymoon. Clubs, bars and restaurants, not to mention two casinos and several theatre shows, will ensure a wedding in Niagara Falls is a wedding people will be talking about for years.
That’s why 
A new study of the dating app Jaumo concludes that superficiality in online dating is just a preconceived prejudice. A survey among North American users shows that the majority of participants do find athleticism attractive but a couple of extra pounds on the hips will not necessarily decrease your chances of finding a date.
