Tag Archives: manners

Politics

How to Engage In Or Avoid A Political Conversation

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So how do you respond when someone brings you into the conversation?  How do you answer when they ask you for your opinion or who you’re going to vote for?

You could always just doodle on a receipt like this one from J. Barker :)
You could always just doodle on a receipt like this one from J. Barker 🙂

Sharon Schweitzer, an international etiquette expert, author and founder of Protocol & Etiquette Worldwide, says you have options.

Has politics become a reality TV show? Tonight's debate is being called the "Lisa Simpson versus Bart Simpson" debate.
Has politics become a reality TV show? 
  1. You don’t want to respond

Keeping your opinion to yourself can be difficult; however, it is possible. Say something like, “In the midst of such a contentious political season, I feel it’s best to keep my opinion to myself. I do appreciate your interest and wish you the best in your political decisions.”

By acknowledging and thanking them for their genuine interest, you are able to get out of sticky political conversations but retain your well-mannered and ever sophisticated demeanor.

  1. If they push again

If they keep pushing for a response, you can play the undecided card and change the subject.

“I’m still evaluating the candidates and the issues and haven’t made up my mind yet.  It will be interesting to see how it plays out.”

To get them off the topic for good, ask them about something meaningful to them that they will want to talk about.  “I hear your son got accepted to Ohio State. Congratulations!”  “Great job on closing that account.  How did you do it?”  “Tell me about your trip to the mountains a few weeks ago. I hear it is beautiful this time of year.”

  1. You want to respond

If you would like to express your beliefs, the best way to do so is to cite research and concrete reasons why your views align a certain way, as this will encourage more of an intellectual conversation than a possible war of opinions.  Just as you want to express your beliefs, be courteous and let the person you are speaking to express his or her beliefs, even if you disagree.

  1. If you disagree

It’s inevitable that disagreements will arise, but when they do, handle them with grace, dignity and respect. Say something like, “That’s an interesting way to look at it and you bring up some valid points; however, I feel that…” Never raise your voice, show anger, abruptly walk away or make it personal.

  1. Either way

Whether you decide to respond or not, be tactful, polite, and remember that educated responses will help you either to cordially engage, or graciously decline whenever these inevitable conversations cross your path. For the Silo, Alex Smith.

Culture

Christmas Holiday Tipping: Who Do I Tip And How Much?

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There’s the mailman, mail woman and the doorman, door woman,  the pet sitter and personal trainer, not to forget the housekeeper, home healthcare worker and many others.  So just who do you tip this holiday season and how much?

Sharon Schweitzer, an international etiquette expert, author, and the founder of Protocol & Etiquette Worldwide, offers this simple tipping checklist of which service providers you need to tip this holiday season and how much:

Business (check corporate policy):

  • Clients: Business gift baskets of chocolate, edible fruit, nuts, cheese, wine, cookies, petite fours; golf balls & non-logo gifts.
  • CEO/Boss: Group gift to their favorite charity or non-profit foundation
  • Assistant: Bonus or gift based on relationship length
  • Colleagues: gift they will like for sports, hobby, or dining, gift card.
  • Office Gift Exchange: don’t go rogue, follow the spending guidelines.
cheap tip

Education & Schools (follow policy):

  • Professor: greeting card, no gift
  • Teacher: Consider a group gift with parents pooled funds
  • Assistant /Aide: $25 – $50 gift certificate
  • Multiple Teachers: small gift, candle, baked goods, gift certificate.
  • Principle: Holiday card & baked goods
  • School Secretary: café gift card, small gift or gift certificate
  • School Nurse: café gift card, small gift or gift certificate

Home or Building Personnel:

  • Live-in help (cook or butler): between a week-month’s pay, plus a gift
  • Housekeeper: if they come once a week: equivalent of a day’s pay, or $50. If they come daily: equivalent of a week’s pay, and possibly a gift
  • Gardener: equivalent of a week’s service
  • Landscaping crew: equivalent of a week’s service, divided among the crew
  • Pool cleaning crew: equivalent of one session, divided among the crew.
  • Garage attendant: between $15 and $40 or give a small gift
  • Garbage/recycling: if city permits, $10-$30 each for extra holiday effort
  • Doorman: between $50 – $100 each, or gift, depending on extra duties
  • Elevator Operator and Handyman: between $20 – $50 each
  • Newspaper delivery: between $10 – $35, or give a small gift

Healthcare providers:

  • Private health care nurse: week’s pay or a gift of similar value
  • Home health employee: follow policy / generous gift basket of holiday treats
  • Nursing home staff: follow policy / gift basket of holiday treats for all

Personal grooming:

  • Hairstylist, manicure, pedicure, specialist: equivalent of a visit
  • Barber: haircut & shave equivalent or give a gift
  • Massage therapist/personal trainer: session equivalent or give a gift

Pet care:

  • Groomer: equivalent of one session or give a gift
  • Walker: week’s pay equivalent or “1-2 visits” per com
  • Sitter: a week’s pay and a paw print note from your pet

Package & Mail Delivery:

The United States Postal Service provides the public with a tipping and gift receiving policy on their website, FedEx and UPS do not. The information provided for FedEx and UPS is from customer service representatives who preferred not to give their names.

United States/Canada Postal Service:

  • Employees may accept baked goods (homemade/store bought) items to share with the branch office. Customers may give edible arrangements, gift cards for merchandise or services valued up to $20 per interaction. Gifts cannot exceed $50 per calendar year.
  • Gifting cash, VISA, MasterCard, or gift cards that may be used as cash are prohibited per USPS Employee Tipping and Gift Receiving Policy and also prohibited for Canada Post employees.

FedEx:

  • Company policies discourage gift cash or gift cards. The driver will politely decline the holiday gratuity. If the customer is insistent, the driver may ultimately accept the gift.

UPS

  • UPS does not have a limit; tipping is left to customer’s discretion.

Avoid giving holiday tips to people on this list; send holiday e-cards instead:

Accountant/CPA

Attorney

Auditor

Banker

Bookkeeper

Dentist

Doctor

Executive Coach

Members, Board of Directors or Trustees

Seamstress/ Tailor

Veterinarian

Politics

Do’s And Don’ts Of Political Conversations

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We live in one of the most politically heated times in history. Expressing your point of view is a personal decision and can be tricky.  Although conversations may start out benign, they can quickly become a toxic dialogue.

Sharon Schweitzer, an international etiquette expert, author, and the founder of Access to Culture, says there are several “do’s and dont’s” to make sure polite political discourse doesn’t turn into hostile debates.

DO   

Show respect for differing opinions

It can be challenging to listen to those with different opinions. It’s important to show respect and take time to listen, giving the other person the opportunity to share their viewpoints. The Platinum rule encourages treating others as they wish to be treated. Stay calm, collected and respectful.

Agree to disagree

If their opinions are different from your views, you can agree to disagree. Try saying something along the lines of, “I respect your perspective, but I think we may need to agree to disagree” or “That’s a different way of thinking about the issue, but I’m comfortable if you and I can agree to disagree.”

Ask questions

If someone asks you a question about your political beliefs, you can reciprocate by asking them about their own beliefs. Let the other person do the talking while you listen. Try to ask open-ended questions such as, “What are your thoughts on the current political atmosphere?” or “How do you feel about the media’s portrayal of …?”

Change the subject

  • If someone continues to ask your opinion, change the topic by saying: “It’s impossible to keep track of the different versions of the news. How is your family doing by the way?” “With the divisive political atmosphere, I’m not comfortable sharing my personal opinions, but thank you for your interest.” “I can’t answer that question, but what I can discuss is… ”

DON’T

Get angry, cross or upset

It can be difficult to keep your temper, but don’t get angry or upset if you don’t agree with someone’s viewpoints. Expressing sarcasm, bitterness or passive aggressiveness won’t change any minds. It will only damage your reputation.

Talk over them

The worst thing you could do is interrupt conversation and start talking about your own opinion. Be respectful of other opinions and views. Listen attentively, especially when you don’t agree with that viewpoint. It gets easier the more you practice.

Overshare

Politics is a difficult conversation, particularly with family members and close friends. If you are speaking to someone you’ve just met, refrain from oversharing. In this case, less is more. Avoid saying something you will later regret.

Make assumptions

We make mental notes when we first meet someone new. We make a first impression based on hair, shoes, watch, clothing, mannerisms, etc. However, political views are hidden unless they are shared verbally or by wearing a revealing detail.  It’s important to approach people with an open mind to avoid awkward and potentially toxic conversations.

For the Silo, Scott Jones.

Featured image- http://ashleylewis-oldmeetsnew.blogspot.ca/

Culture

Small Talk Vineyards on how to Master the art of “Small Talk”

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Do you know this guy?
Do you know this guy?

Anyone who’s been caught at a wedding reception or a cocktail party discussing recent changes in the weather knows that these situations can quickly go from bad to worse and that making small talk isn’t as easy as it sounds.

Conversations with strangers can sometimes be stilted and uncomfortable, often resulting in a mad dash for the door as soon as is socially acceptable, but it doesn’t have to be this way.

“Small talk is an art,” says Small Talk Vineyards Owner, Hank Hunse. “It isn’t a skill that people are born with, but it can be mastered. Small talk is the starting point of all relationships and whether you are at a friend’s wine tasting party or a networking event it is an important starting point for everyone.”

Small Talk Vineyards, located in Niagara-on-the-Lake, knows all about the art of good conversation and the winery’s staff have become experts at small talk.

“A big part of our business is engaging our visitors in conversation,” said Hunse. “With hundreds of people visiting the winery each season, we have had to learn how to keep our guests engaged in conversation while ensuring they feel comfortable.”

Smooth!
Smooth!

To help us conquer our jitters of awkward meetings and functions, Small Talk Vineyards has compiled a list of five tips to mastering the art of small talk:

Remember Names

Introductions tend pass in a blur. Names are forgotten just as quickly as the hors d’oeuvres disappear, but make an effort to slow down and stay present. Repeat the person’s name in your head a few times and if you forget a name, discreetly ask a third party for help. Remembering someone’s name goes a long way and they are more likely to approach you at future gatherings.

Establish Eye Contact

This may sound like a no-brainer, but in uncomfortable situations people tend to avoid eye contact. Casual eye contact and a warm, friendly smile demonstrate your interest and desire to communicate. Eye contact for five to ten seconds indicates curiosity and is generally considered friendly. Make an effort to keep your body language open and relaxed – you’ll send out confident and friendly signals that will draw people to you

Discuss the Setting

Finding a topic of discussion after introductions is the hardest part of small talk. By commenting on the location of the event — how long the line is for drinks or floral arrangements — you are creating common ground. For example, if we sense that someone is uncomfortable during a wine tasting, we often comment on the bright paint colours that decorate the winery to find common ground.

Have Fun!

It’s important to remember that you aren’t alone. There are others in the room feeling just as uncomfortable as you, so stop hiding behind your glass of wine and enjoy yourself! Allow yourself to be curious and ask questions, you never know who you might meet.

Make a Clean Escape

When your conversation starts to draw to a close, take the opportunity to make a natural exit. Using phrases such as “I need to grab another drink” or “I need to say hello to a friend who just arrived” allows you to make a clean exit. Make sure to end the conversation with something like: “I’ve enjoyed talking to you, and I hope to talk to you again.” This keeps the lines of communication open for another meeting.

To learn more about Small Talk Vineyards please visit www.smalltalkvineyards.com. Follow Small Talk on Twitter @SmallTalkWines and like it on Facebook at www.facebook.com/smalltalkwinery

The Apple Place Norfolk Fruit Growers Association

About Small Talk Vineyards:

Small Talk Vineyards is an innovative, boutique, small-production VQA winery located in Niagara-on-the-Lake. The estate vineyard is family run and has been in operation since 1955. Small Talk’s  labels are about attending dinner parties and engaging in conversation, the front label in the “Speech Bubble” is what we say out loud during these gatherings and the back label, the “thought bubble” expresses what we’re thinking. Small Talk Vineyards features bold, fresh VQA wines that expose the dramatic gap between what you say … and what you really think!