Tag Archives: fear

How To Embrace Your Post Divorce Future

The “D” word. Stressful right? When your divorce is finally final, how will you begin again?

The transition can be liberating for some, daunting for others. Mixed feelings – anger, relief, sadness, joy, fear and uncertainty – are common and may take time to sort out.

Meanwhile, the clock on your new life is ticking, and regardless of your emotions, it is time for a freedom-inspired relaunch, says Jacqueline Newman, a Manhattan-based divorce lawyer and author of Soon To Be Ex: A Guide to Your Perfect Divorce & Relaunch (www.Jacquelinenewman.com).

The divorce proceedings – all the time spent with your attorney and in court,  all the hours burned while considering highly emotional and financial factors, from the impact on your children to the division of assets – put a big part of your life on hold, not to mention a major strain on it.  And now with the difficult process over, Newman says, it is important to focus on creating a brand new you.

“The last umpteen months have been about your kids, your ex, and your divorce,” says Newman, “thus, a little ‘me’ time is in order. Here is an opportunity to be free from having to answer to anyone but yourself. So live your life to its fullest.”

Newman’s message is that divorce does not have to be the worst thing that could have happened to you.

There are silver linings as you begin to take control of what you can, and she offers three tips on how to relaunch after a divorce.

     •    Treat yourself.  Right out of the divorce gate, buy something meaningful for yourself. Lose the guilt your ex made you feel for spending on clothes or expensive shoes. Your gift could be something symbolic and therapeutic that fires a shot back at your ex. “I would absolutely recommend you buy yourself a divorce present of some kind,” Newman says. “You deserve it. One woman I represented was constantly mocked by her husband during their marriage for being flat-chested. It is easy to guess what she bought as soon as her cash payment cleared.” Sexy White Lingerie for Bride Women's Lingerie Lace | Etsy

   •      Embrace single hood. This does not mean you have to hug your first post-divorce dinner partner. It means embracing a new stage of discovery, with the different, interesting people you meet while dating becoming part of your growth.  Newman recommends online dating as a way to “relearn how to date.” Many newly divorced people feel insecure about dating, but Newman suggests learning about people outside your comfort zone. And rather than trying to focus on finding Mr. or Mrs. Right, Newman says, “Give yourself some time to look around and meet different types of people. You may learn something that can broaden your perspective on life. If you can start seeing relationships not as the goal but as opportunities for growth, then you can start being more accepting with the outcome of each relationship.”  Cougar dating advice 1.

   •      Expand your freedom.  Use your new windows of time to catch up with friends you have not seen. Newman recommends Facebook as an easy way to reconnect. On weekends when the ex has the kids, strengthen your friendship circle and broaden it. Explore and re-discover yourself. Pursue new hobbies or renew ones you did not have as much time for in marriage. Advance your career. “Your post-divorce life is offering you a chance to go after the promotion you have been dreaming about,” Newman says. “Cougars” on the prowl in Colorado nightclubs – The Denver Post

By doing the things you long wanted to do, you can find the new you. 

“You are free to be who you are without judgment from a spouse,” Newman says, “and to do whatever you want. Learn to love yourself.”  For the Silo, Cathy K. Hayes. 

Supplemental– Silo archives: break up jewelry

 

 

Working On Emotional Intelligence Will Open Doors To Achievement

Emotional Intelligence Empathy Plus

Personal power is a core leadership competency that everyone  needs to develop before they can lead others. It has to do with being able to
lead yourself.

“Personal power is the ability to achieve what you want,”  according to Frederick Mann, a successful entrepreneur and author of The  Economic Rape of America.

“More than anything else, it is personal power  that brings you success and happiness. The biggest barrier to success in almost
any endeavor is powerlessness, negativity, helplessness, and inertia. They  belong together. The problem is not only our own powerlessness, but also the  powerlessness of those around us.”

We can help harness and learn to use our personal power by  understanding and working on our Emotional Intelligence (EI) skills.

Not long ago, when I worked in a corporate environment, there was a strong push to incorporate EI into the organization’s leadership
training curriculum as an array of skills and characteristics that drive  leadership performance.

EI is “the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings  and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide
one’s thinking and actions,” according to psychologists John D. Mayer and Peter  Salovey, who co-developed the concept and were two of the three authors of the Emotional Intelligence Test.

a.  Pay attention to the feedback of friends and co-workers, good and bad. Train yourself to repeat the behaviors that get positive feedback and work on eliminating those that make people react negatively.
b.  View constructive criticism as just that. When we become defensive, we don’t hear what can be very helpful feedback.
c.  Learn to handle conflict and confrontation from a perspective of compassion and caring.

Personal coaching can be very helpful in learning to be more diplomatic in your interactions with others.

Dr. Salovey (left) and Dr. Mayer (right)
Dr. Salovey (left) and Dr. Mayer (right)

My EI training and its practical applications to my work team environment still resonate in my personal life. They became skills that I now methodically apply to current situations in both personal and entrepreneurial pursuits.

There are several EI models, but the one to which I ascribe is the mixed model introduced by Daniel Goldman, a combination of ability and traits. Here are Goldman’s five main EI constructs, and my views on how each of us can develop them:

1.  Self-awareness: the ability to know one’s emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives, values and goals and recognize their impact on others while using gut feelings to guide decisions.

In order to become self-aware, you need to conduct an honest self-assessment to determine your strengths and weaknesses, such as powerlessness and inertia, and determine the root causes. You then need to create a plan that will help you overcome your fears, which are barriers to courage and stand between you and your successes.

While I am a big proponent of using my intuition to guide my decisions, whenever it is appropriate, I need to caution that unless your gut
feelings are often more right than wrong, you cannot make decisions solely based upon intuition. You need to use a balanced combination of intuition and logic.

2.  Self-regulation: involves controlling or redirecting one’s disruptive emotions and impulses and adapting to changing circumstances.

Simply put, you need to exercise self-discipline and know how to control your emotions and be flexible in order to adapt to changing
situations. You cannot continue on the same trajectory or keep the same plans when the circumstances or facts have changed. Your plans need to be modified accordingly.

3.  Social skills: managing relationships to move people in the desired direction.

Your social skills refer to your interpersonal skills or your ability to relate and connect with people, which can motivate them to deploy discretionary efforts to help you achieve goals that are best accomplished via partnership and collaboration.

Here are some tips for improving your social skills:

a.  Pay attention to the feedback of friends and co-workers, good and bad. Train yourself to repeat the behaviors that get positive feedback and work on eliminating those that make people react negatively.
b.  View constructive criticism as just that. When we become defensive, we don’t hear what can be very helpful feedback.
c.  Learn to handle conflict and confrontation from a perspective of compassion and caring.

Personal coaching can be very helpful in learning to be more diplomatic in your interactions with others.

4.  Empathy – considering other people’s feelings, especially when making decisions.

Some people believe empathy cannot be learned, but I believe just the opposite. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and try to see
situations from their perspective. Might they be feeling fear? Shame? Guilt? How do those emotions make you feel? Understanding and addressing the concerns of others is essential to EI.

Always consider intent versus impact, and how your actions or decisions may affect the individuals or groups involved.

5.  Motivation – being driven to achieve for the sake of achievement.

Simply put, what motivates you? What are your benchmarks for success? Once you achieve certain levels of success, you need to consistently
set new benchmarks to keep chasing personal excellence!

Practice your EI skills on yourself first, and you’ll develop greater personal power. That can lead to achievements you may never have dreamed possible. For the Silo, Lynda Chervil.

Lynda Chervil is the author of “Fool’s Return,” http://lyndachervil.com/, a new novel that incorporates valuable life lessons in a page-turning tale that touches on technology, the green movement, and other aspects of contemporary society.

Lynda Chervil
Lynda Chervil

Fear & Illness: In Wake Of COVID-19, Faith And Support Matter

As the U.S. prepares do deal with the feared Corona Virus, this potential crisis presents a great opportunity to be a source of strength and support for one another. Patti Garibay, Cofounder of American Heritage Girls, is available to discuss her wonderful organization and how they could help deal with fear and anxiety caused by COVID-19, as well as ways their members can serve others in this time of crisis.

Patti Garibay, Founder & Executive Director of American Heritage Girls (AHG)

Q&A:

Amidst the rapid-spreading Coronavirus, and the anxiety that it is causing so many, how does the American Heritage Girls Program (AHG) help girls overcome feelings of fear and anxiety?

The American Heritage Girls Program enables a girl to grow in her FAITH – in every sense of the word – instead of increasing in panic, fear, and anxiety. The AHG Program helps girls fortify and strengthen their faith as it pertains to believing and serving Christ, and being confident and assured that God cares and protects them. During this time of the COVID-19 pandemic, AHG is equipping girls to act from a place of both faith and preparation, by adhering to the safety precautions and suggestions for disease prevention laid out by the CDC. 

Girls today are experiencing heightened rates of diagnosed anxiety and depression disorders. How do you think information about the Coronavirus plays into their fears and disorders?

Information about the Coronavirus is accessible everywhere. It’s nearly impossible to step into your car without hearing the Coronavirus as the topic of the hour on every radio station or scroll through your social media newsfeed without seeing countless posts about it. Coronavirus conversations are in classrooms, the workplace, the grocery store. There is no escaping Coronavirus information. Because of the nature of how we consume information in today’s world, it’s easy to be overwhelmed and even bogged down with the information which can quickly lead to fear and terror. I believe the speed of information sharing about the Coronavirus is significantly contributing to the rise of anxiety we are seeing all around us.

How does AHG equip its adult volunteers to engage in informed and faith-filled conversations with Girl Members and families about safety precautions to protect against the Coronavirus?

AHG has an incredible team of staff members who work to support all of our ministry’s members. We are consistently monitoring how the Coronavirus could affect the everyday operations of Troops, and we have communicated to Troop leaders how to take the necessary preventative measures to stay safe while giving their Troops messages of faith and encouragement amidst this time of uncertainty. AHG leaders are calmly and carefully explaining any changes or adjustments to meetings and activities to girls and families. We are encouraging our leaders with scripture and diligently praying for them.

AHG’s mission is Building women of integrity through service to God, family, community, and country. With the rapid-spreading Coronavirus, what are the ways AHG Members reach out to help and serve others?

Prayer is the first and foremost way we are serving others during this time. AHG Members are praying for those currently ill with the disease and praying that others continue to be protected. Troops are also encouraged to think of ways to help support community efforts. In the coming weeks, I know we will be receiving stories of how girls and Troops have stepped up to be a beacon of light during this time.

What is the number one message you want girls and families to know in light of having faith and letting go of fear surrounding the Coronavirus?

I want families to know and believe in 2 Timothy 1:7, NKJV, that “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” Connect with your family by being fully present, limiting your media consumption, and maintaining as much routine as safely possible. We, as a community, will get through this in time. Join us in prayer for wisdom and the healing of all affected by COVID-19.

About Patti Garibay, Founder & Executive Director of American Heritage Girls (AHG)

Patti Garibay with her husband are co-founders of American Heritage Girls, a wholesome scouting alternative for girls. Patti is a featured speaker nationally on the topic raising Godly girls (RGG). Along with her blog posts, Patti is a popular guest on talk shows on relevant girl-centric topics ranging from body image to bullying.

In her upcoming autobiography, Patti gives readers a glimpse into her journey from the humble beginnings of American Heritage Girls around her kitchen table in Cincinnati, to where it is today, a formidable national organization offering a positive environment in a largely Godless culture.

Patti Garibay is a living tribute to traditional values of old, offering an alternative to a lonesome online world. In Patti’s word of American Heritage Girls, she delights in her mission to help raise Godly girls, helping girls make real friends, who really chat, who also happen to enjoy camping and other outdoor adventures in a real world.

CONTACT: Rachel Ford or Jerry McGlothlin. Visit our website to view a wide variety of interview guests and topics in the news at: https://SpecialGuests.com/guests-topics/

Award Winner Explains Women’s Money Emotions

Everyone has a relationship with money, but for women, it’s much more fraught with emotion, says Meriflor Toneatto.

When we avoid and ignore those emotions, we allow them to quietly guide our decision-making – which inevitably holds us back.

“Understanding our emotions, fears and doubts about money and how they affect our behavior can help us heal them so we can experience financial and personal freedom,” says Toneatto, an entrepreneur,  certified business and life coach, and author of  “Money, Manifestation & Miracles: 8 Principles for Transforming Women’s Relationship with Money.”  For women, money is an emotional currency. It’s tied to our sense of self-worth and self-confidence, and our feelings of safety and security. These feelings often translate into self-limiting decisions.

The effect can be profound. Consider female entrepreneurs:

“The number of women-owned U.S and Canada. businesses is growing 1.5 times faster than the national U.S. average, but a report from 2013 found that they’re still contributing less than 4 percent of overall business revenues, about the same as they were in 2007,” Toneatto says.

“Our businesses are smaller because we’re less likely than men to borrow in order to expand. We’re afraid to take financial risks,” she says citing a U.S. Department of Commerce report..

And in the corporate world:

Women comprise half the workforce, yet hold the majority of lower-wage jobs in the United States, according to the 2014 State of the Union address.

What are the emotions shaping so many of our decisions? Toneatto cites five:

Fear: The most common emotion among women is fear. With money, we fear not having enough of it; that we’ll lose it all and never get it back. Nearly including those according to the 2013 Women, Money and Power Study.

And we fear an abundance of money. We may fail to negotiate a higher salary because we fear we can’t live up to it. Successful women may be reluctant to reach higher because we fear failure — and losing it all.

These fears often have roots in situations we were exposed worth. They send a strong signal that we need to root out their source and heal it.

Guilt: People who say things like, “I feel guilty when I spend instead of save” or “I never buy anything unless it’s on sale” have guilt feelings associated with money. These, too, are often rooted in the fears and messages we saw and heard in childhood about not having enough money. Many of us are natural nurturers who’ve gotten the message that “good” women are selfless, and so we may freely, even recklessly, spend on others while withholding from ourselves.

Shame: This painful emotion cuts whether worthy and deserving. We avoid talking about shame, and so it exerts control over us. With money, shame is commonly connected to amassing a lot of debt and hiding it because we fear being judged, humiliated, and disliked.

Anger: This emotion repels money, opportunities and people because it can leave us closed off emotionally and physically from others. It’s based in a belief in the unfairness of life and/or the unfairness of money. A person who becomes angry about money may be angry at herself for missing an opportunity or for mishandling money in the past. Anger can lead to trust issues and to over-protecting every cent – even hoarding money.

Blame: Anger and blame often go hand in hand. hand in hand. It stems from feeling disappointed or wronged because you believe your life would have been easier and/or better if someone – maybe parents or a spouse — had been able to provide you with more money. Blame can sabotage relationships with both people and money for years.

“At some point in our lives, we all have felt one or more of these emotions,” Toneatto says. “The good thing is, once you begin to recognize them, they’re like a flashing yellow ‘caution!’ light.”

About Meriflor Toneatto

Meriflor Toneatto is the founder and CEO of Power With Soul, a company dedicated to empowering female entrepreneurs and professionals by helping them transform their relationship with money. The author of “Money, Manifestation & Miracles: 8 Principles for Transforming Women’s Relationship with Money.” Toneatto holds a bachelor’s degree in public administration and management and graduate certifications in personal, professional and financial coaching. A former corporate executive, she is a recipient of the Amethyst Award for Excellence and Outstanding Achievement from the government of Ontario, Canada.

Supplemental- http://www.canadiangovernmentexecutive.ca/category/item/1283-and-the-amethyst-goes-to.html

Ways To Retrain And Put Your Adult Brain Back In Charge

Jungian Psychology uses art-therapy, dreams and imagery in mapping personal and collective unconscious, archetypes and complexes. Jung believed that there were fears and thoughts that children and adults exhibit that are "remarkably similar across time and culture" (allpsych.com) image: skycladtherapist.files.wordpress.com
Jungian Psychology uses art-therapy, dreams and imagery in mapping personal and collective unconscious, archetypes and complexes. Jung believed that there were fears and thoughts that children and adults exhibit that are “remarkably similar across time and culture” (allpsych.com) image: skycladtherapist.files.wordpress.com

The human brain is a wonder of the universe, but our understanding of it can seem contradictory, says Steven Jay Fogel, author of the book Your Mind Is What Your Brain Does for a Living.

“On the one hand, we’re often told of those crucial years that our brain develops in childhood, when we’re rapidly progressing in development of our language and other skills, and our preadolescent and teenage years, when our brains undergo a sort of second Big Bang of learning,” says Fogel, (www.StevenJayFogel.com).

“But although it may seem that the brain is pretty much set by adulthood, it remains malleable throughout adulthood; it continues to change as we learn and adapt.”

Most of us are unaware that elements of our inner child’s development are constantly tugging at us, and we don’t have a clue that it’s happening, he says. In Jungian therapy there’s a concept called the dark side, or shadow side, the place in our unconscious to which certain feelings and thoughts are banished because they don’t support our image of ourselves, he says.

Steven Jay Fogel is a longtime student of human behavior and development.
Steven Jay Fogel is a longtime student of human behavior and
development.

“That is our inner child responding to the emotional pain we experienced and interpreted with the limited understanding we had when we were very young. It continues to steer our reactions and behavior as adults, often in inappropriate ways,” Fogel says.

Awareness creates an opportunity for change. Fogel reviews how our adult brain can take command of the inner child:

• Recognize the elements of your self identity that keep you trapped. Our identity – how we want the world to see us – develops, in part, as a response to avoiding pain. Our identity may change from one situation to another (in the same way a chameleon changes its body color to match its surroundings) as we slip on the persona we believe is expected in a particular environment or social setting. This automatic behavior is the opposite of making mindful choices, and it robs us of the joy of living in the moment and inhibits spontaneity.

• Be aware of when you’re acting. Many of us live our lives as though we’re playing parts in various movies, navigating different storylines every day. You may be the righteous Clint Eastwood manager at work and then shift into the town drunk during happy hour, and later the loving husband and father during brunch the following weekend morning. When you’re playing these roles, you’re not in the present.

Be skeptical of what the voice in your head may tell you. It’s not easy to recognize and quiet the mental chatter associated with the different roles we play. We’ve become so accustomed to the voice in our head, that we don’t realize its messages are programmed – and not necessarily the truth. Is your voice telling you to feel guilty? Ashamed? Angry? Is that rational? If not, it may be your inner child acting out of a childlike fear.

“Instead of simply responding to what we’re hardwired to think and react, we can hear, in mindful repose, those promptings as simply chatter,” Fogel says. “When you’re mindful, the inner child’s chatter can be seen for what it is, and you will be free to take a more mature directionin your day-to-day living.”

Steven Jay Fogel is a longtime student of human behavior and development; he has studied with psychologists, educators, and rabbinical scholars. Your Mind Is What Your Brain Does for a Living, (Greenleaf Book Group Press, 2014), is his third book. He is also the author of My Mind Is Not Always My Friend: A Guide for How to Not Get in Your Own Way (Fresh River Press, 2010) and The Yes-I-Can Guide to Mastering Real Estate (Times Books-Random House). For decades he has been an active participant in the human potential movement, inspiring and mentoring others to seek their true selves. Fogel is a principal and cofounder of Westwood Financial Corp., one of the largest owner-operators of retail properties in the United States. He is a licensed real estate broker and past chairman of the California Arts Council.

Supplemental- Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events that are apparently causally unrelated or unlikely to occur together by chance, yet are experienced as occurring together in a meaningful manner. The concept of synchronicity was first described in this terminology by Carl Gustav Jung, a Swiss psychologist, in the 1920s.
The concept does not question, or compete with, the notion of causality. Instead, it maintains that just as events may be grouped by cause, they may also be grouped by meaning. A grouping of events by meaning need not have an explanation in terms of cause and effect.

Click to view on I-tunes
Click to view on I-tunes

ISIS Goal Splits Family And Divides Muslims

History is made in moments, often of crisis and uncertainty, and the wisdom with which we meet them. This is one of those moments.

ISIS goal is to split the human family. To divide the world’s 1.5 billion Muslims from everyone else. Those in our societies who sow fear, suspicion and hatred of Muslims  are the best allies the extremists who attacked Paris and Beirut could ask for.

Muslims are almost one quarter of humanity, and 99% are as horrified by the ISIS attacks as everyone else. They have been the greatest victims of ISIS, and have the greatest power to help defeat it. So let’s answer hate with humanity, and seize this chance for transformative change. For all of us – Muslims and Non-Muslims everywhere – to fiercely welcome each other into our one human family like never before.

We Are All One

Sign the global “Undivided” message, add your own, and share the page with everyone – If enough us join now, we can start a global wave of solidarity, and make the pain of these attacks the birth pangs of a more beautiful world. When we get to 500,000 signatures Avaaz will run ads in Muslim community papers and online, as well as key right wing papers that spread fear and division: 

https://secure.avaaz.org/en/loving_transformation_loc/?bsOTIab&v=69561&cl=8992696952

The real front line of this war is not just in the dusty towns of Syria and Iraq, but in the media and social media forums where the stories we tell ourselves compete. There is a fraternity of ignorance and hatred and it stretches across borders, in which extremists on all sides work together to drag the rest of us down into their backward world of spiraling brutality.

Our governments will need to increase their vigilance in preventing attacks, and support military efforts to defeat ISIS. But our job as people, and our leaders’ jobs as moral leaders, is to ensure that love, the transformational antidote to ISIS’ hate, blooms between Muslims and everyone else everywhere. THAT would be ISIS’ worst nightmare – it might even give some of the angry young men they recruit cause to hesitate – a chance to see an alternative as inspiring to them as the backward brand of faith that ISIS markets.

At the darkest times, our light as humanity can shine brightest. Human rights were not recognized until after the second world war. The world got it wrong after 9/11, when leaders play into Al Qaeda’s hands by stoking Islamaphobia. This time, let’s be wiser, come together as Muslims and non-Muslims more closely than ever before, and brightly shine the light of the world we’re building:

https://secure.avaaz.org/en/loving_transformation_loc/?bsOTIab&v=69561&cl=8992696952

From a place of love, we might begin to listen to our brothers and sisters among Muslims that have lent ISIS some support. First and foremost those Sunnis from Syria and Iraq, who have been treated unjustly by Iraq’s government, and incredibly brutally oppressed by Syria’s dictator Al Assad. We might begin to understand that when we failed to offer their families protection and relief from the horrors they faced, ISIS offered that protection, and some accepted it. We might focus on learning from this, and offering them a better deal.

With that lesson, we might see the stories of the peoples around the world that ISIS fighters come from. From Chechnya, where generations of Muslim families were horrifically murdered while the world looked away. Or from Egypt, or Algeria, or dozens of other countries, where sickeningly brutal state security police have tortured and murdered countless Muslims who dared to stand up to their venal corruption – something that is a religious responsibility for Muslims.

And maybe then we will understand that while ISIS is a monster that we must defeat, the monster is more than just the group itself. It’s the desperation of millions of people suffering under horrific conditions, and looking for a way out. And the rest of us in the human family, Muslims and non-Muslims, have either looked away, failed to effectively address, or often, backed and supported these horrors.

So let’s seize this moment with wisdom, to bring down the monster we face, the one we all have lines of responsibility for. Let’s see the human family united like never before to defeat ISIS – not just on the battlefield, but in our own societies, in the media and social media, and most of all in the thousands of Muslim communities that live today around the world in fear.  Let’s encourage Muslim and Non-Muslim communities everywhere to embrace each other, welcome refugees with compassion, escalate our pressure on Egypt and other brutal governments to stop brutalizing opponents and creating the ISIS’ of the future, redouble our efforts to achieve a peace deal in Syria, protect at-risk communities like the Rohingya, stop constant terrifying drone attacks on communities, and ensure that the military actions we support are scrupulously careful to avoid traumatizing the civilians who are suffering enough already under ISIS’ boot. If we do these things, we’ll do far more than defeat ISIS, we’ll defeat the misery that has given rise to them, and in a way that takes the human family one wiser step further on our journey together.

With love and gratitude for this amazing community,

Ricken, Luis, Ben, Alice, Rewan, Elana, Mohammed, Steve, Emma and the whole Avaaz team.

Silo Book Spotlight- A Practical Guide to Emotional Intelligence

The Power Of Feelings CoverSmallFeelings are at the core of every social interaction. Anger, fear, and sadness are all very different concepts, but together they form part of an emotional compass that allows people to appropriately deal with each other in everyday situations. In short, unlocking the true power behind a person’s feelings – even challenging ones – is actually the key to clarity, love, and a happier life.  

As a way to help you understand your feelings and develop your own emotional intelligence, business coach, speaker, and bestselling author Vivian Dittmar has written the insightful book, The Power of Feelings: A Practical Guide to Emotional Intelligence.  In this groundbreaking work, Dittmar takes the reader on an introspective journey by examining the inner workings of the human mind and heart. She explains at length the difference between feelings and emotions, how each are created, why each has its own purpose, and why everything you “feel” is not always a feeling.

Divided into five easy-to-read sections, The Power of Feelings is a comprehensive guidebook with 12 self-assessment exercises for exploring your life. By working through these exercises, Dittmar ultimately teaches how understanding and harnessing the power behind your feelings are the keys to your emotional potential and intelligence.

In this fascinating and eye-opening book, Dittmar also reveals:

  •  The Five Powers of Anger, Sadness, Fear, Joy, and Shame: How each fulfills an important function in your life
  • Turning Negative Feelings Into Positive Forces: Why some feelings that are typically considered to be “bad” can be used to your benefit
  • Emotional Baggage: Some of the most effective ways to deal with past emotional issues
  • Blocks of Emotional Intelligence: Common causes of emotional imbalances
  • Living Feelings: How to incorporate conscious feelings into your daily life

VivianDittmarAuthorBanner

“When I felt it was time to write my first book, I took a look at what was on the market in the field of personal development and felt the greatest deficit was in the realm of feelings and emotions,” says Dittmar. “I had been emotionally challenged in my life and was unsatisfied with the answers I could find. This dissatisfaction caused me to start investigating the matter within me, with the people I worked with, and in seminars and groups. When it was time to write the book, we collected questions about feelings from people of all walks of life looking for the same answers. This material later became the first version of The Power of Feelings.”

Vivian Dittmar grew up on three continents in three different cultures. In doing so, she developed a unique perspective on humans and their interactions. Traveling between first, second, and third-world nations, she was struck by the contrast between people’s external wealth and their corresponding life issues. Her experiences led her to pursue a career in the fields of self-help and personal development.

Throughout her career, Dittmar has worked in Germany, Indonesia, Australia, Thailand, Costa Rica, Italy, Greece, and Sweden. In Indonesia, she ran her own practice working with clients from all backgrounds. She then returned to Europe and set up the non-profit, Be the Change Foundation for Cultural Change.  The foundation offers educational events to raise awareness about ecological and social justice issues.

Dittmar also works as a trainer and coach.  As a coach, she helps small and mid-sized business owners and executives develop their emotional intelligence. She is also the author of three successful books – the first of which has been translated from German into English, Italian, and Spanish. Dittmar currently lives between Germany and Italy and is a mother of two sons.

Books are available on VivianDittmar.com and Amazon.comE-books are also available on Kindle. Connect with Dittmar on Twitter.com and Facebook.com.