Tag Archives: Family Law

How To Embrace Your Post Divorce Future

August 5, 2024 The Silo Leave a comment

The “D” word. Stressful right? When your divorce is finally final, how will you begin again?

The transition can be liberating for some, daunting for others. Mixed feelings – anger, relief, sadness, joy, fear and uncertainty – are common and may take time to sort out.

Meanwhile, the clock on your new life is ticking, and regardless of your emotions, it is time for a freedom-inspired relaunch, says Jacqueline Newman, a Manhattan-based divorce lawyer and author of Soon To Be Ex: A Guide to Your Perfect Divorce & Relaunch (www.Jacquelinenewman.com).

The divorce proceedings – all the time spent with your attorney and in court, all the hours burned while considering highly emotional and financial factors, from the impact on your children to the division of assets – put a big part of your life on hold, not to mention a major strain on it. And now with the difficult process over, Newman says, it is important to focus on creating a brand new you.

“The last umpteen months have been about your kids, your ex, and your divorce,” says Newman, “thus, a little ‘me’ time is in order. Here is an opportunity to be free from having to answer to anyone but yourself. So live your life to its fullest.”

Newman’s message is that divorce does not have to be the worst thing that could have happened to you.

There are silver linings as you begin to take control of what you can, and she offers three tips on how to relaunch after a divorce.

• Treat yourself. Right out of the divorce gate, buy something meaningful for yourself. Lose the guilt your ex made you feel for spending on clothes or expensive shoes. Your gift could be something symbolic and therapeutic that fires a shot back at your ex. “I would absolutely recommend you buy yourself a divorce present of some kind,” Newman says. “You deserve it. One woman I represented was constantly mocked by her husband during their marriage for being flat-chested. It is easy to guess what she bought as soon as her cash payment cleared.”

• Embrace single hood. This does not mean you have to hug your first post-divorce dinner partner. It means embracing a new stage of discovery, with the different, interesting people you meet while dating becoming part of your growth. Newman recommends online dating as a way to “relearn how to date.” Many newly divorced people feel insecure about dating, but Newman suggests learning about people outside your comfort zone. And rather than trying to focus on finding Mr. or Mrs. Right, Newman says, “Give yourself some time to look around and meet different types of people. You may learn something that can broaden your perspective on life. If you can start seeing relationships not as the goal but as opportunities for growth, then you can start being more accepting with the outcome of each relationship.”

• Expand your freedom. Use your new windows of time to catch up with friends you have not seen. Newman recommends Facebook as an easy way to reconnect. On weekends when the ex has the kids, strengthen your friendship circle and broaden it. Explore and re-discover yourself. Pursue new hobbies or renew ones you did not have as much time for in marriage. Advance your career. “Your post-divorce life is offering you a chance to go after the promotion you have been dreaming about,” Newman says.

By doing the things you long wanted to do, you can find the new you.

“You are free to be who you are without judgment from a spouse,” Newman says, “and to do whatever you want. Learn to love yourself.” For the Silo, Cathy K. Hayes.

Supplemental– Silo archives: break up jewelry

Culture

Hiring An Attorney: What You Need To Know

November 20, 2019 The Silo Leave a comment

If you have never had to hire an attorney before, the process can seem rather overwhelming. This is often because media portrays a rather unfair image of attorneys. Thus, you may see them as being high-powered, cold-hearted individuals or as money-grabbing thugs. Either way, it isn’t a pleasant picture. The good news is that real life is hardly ever like that. Most attorneys are courteous and have scruples. Nevertheless, there are several things that you need to be aware of before hiring one. Here are the top things to know:

Always Pick Those with Specific Expertise

Think of lawyers in the same terms as doctors. If you have a particular medical problem, you will see a specialist in that field. This logic can also be applied to hiring attorneys. Thus, if you need help with domestic abuse, for instance, hire domestic violence lawyers. These individuals will have the knowledge and experience to ensure that your case is handled quickly and efficiently. What’s more, they will be more familiar with the process and the legal professionals that you will meet. This will certainly help things to move forward more smoothly.

There are Multiple Payment Options

One of the reasons that you may be concerned about hiring an attorney is due to the cost involved. And, it is true – there are some professionals that can be incredibly expensive. If you want to make sure that you are selecting a legal expert who fits your budget, check out their payment options. There are some individuals who insist that you pay for every hour that they work for you. Others will only accept payment if they win the case. Then there are those that create a payment system that best suits your financial situation and capabilities. Pick the one that is most compatible with your circumstances.

Look for an Involved Attorney

There are some attorneys who can be very dismissive. They simply assure you that they will take care of you and then essentially ignore most of your correspondence. Now, if you are facing serious criminal charges, such an attitude clearly won’t work. You need someone who, for example, will take the time to explain to you the best way to avoid DUI conviction. Having an understanding of the process can go a long way towards making you feel better about your case. Not to mention, it is important that you are involved with every step.

Consider Goal Compatibility

Every attorney has a different attitude towards their cases. Some will push for a better deal no matter what. Others will have a more positive exchange with their opponents and reach a more amicable position. There is no right or wrong approach. However, it is important to work with an attorney who has a similar attitude towards yours. This way, you can be certain that they will work towards a goal that you are happy with. Furthermore, you will be a lot more pleased with the final outcome.

These are all of the top things to be aware of when hiring an attorney. As long as you keep these in mind, you can find the best match for you, easily.

Culture

A Basic Visual Guide On Helping Your Children Through Divorce

February 3, 2017 The Silo Leave a comment

For children, divorce can be an extremely upsetting and stressful time. Their world changes and it’s confusing. They may feel uncertain, scared, angry, hurt and depressed. As a parent, you can make the process less stressful for your children by being aware of ways to make the process less unsettling for them.

Your understanding, patience and reassurance can help greatly in your child’s adjustment. The infographic below via our friends at Browell Smith & Co Solicitors shows ways for you to reduce your child’s pain by making their well-being the most important part of the transition.