Tag Archives: emotions

It’s Break Up Season But Jewelry Helps Embark Your New Life

Break ups aren’t so bad when you treat yourself to a nice pair of diamond earrings.

There’s a reason Neil Sedaka’s “Breaking Up is Hard to Do” became a pop classic – because it’s true! But breakups can also be a time to reflect and embark on a new chapter in your life, says Jay Ryan.

“Many people have been through a romantic heartbreak, which  can be among life’s biggest challenges. But being single after a committed relationship can also be a good time to rejuvenate yourself,” says Ryan, co-founder of www.breakupgems.com, an online retailer specializing in breakup and divorce jewelry that “celebrates new beginnings.”

“We cater to the growing number of people looking for meaningful ways to bring closure to their past and move forward with confidence,” he says.

For those who’ve recently experienced a split, or are about to (December holidays is the time of the year most long term relationship break ups occur.) Ryan shares several ways to turn your breakup into a makeover — a “breakover.”

https://youtu.be/1GTFvlm0vGM

• Empower yourself with the gift of health. It’s almost a cliché that ‘exes’ lose weight after splitting up; some lose their appetite due to melancholy and some are motivated to look and feel better with exercise and dieting. Don’t punish yourself with spartan regimens, Ryan advises. Eat nutritious foods and train sensibly.

• Treat yourself to a new wardrobe. Clothing can be the bearers of painful reminders, like the sweater he or she got you last year. Consider freshening up your style with new clothes – hey, you’ll probably need them anyway with all that exercise. A new wardrobe can serve as a healthy reminder of the new you.

• Be proactive with your reading. There are many genres of self-help literature, from spiritual to academic. But don’t limit yourself to nonfiction; classic literature not only gives you a great education, it also helps readers increase empathy and better understand emotional complexity.

• Consider a healthy reminder of the new you. It’s a tradition in our society to commemorate a romantic union or celebration with jewelry. Your breakup may likewise be a blessing that allows you to grow as an individual. Consider a ring or other piece of jewelry that will not only mark this milestone but be a personal reminder of your transformation and new beginning.

• Travel adds perspective on a new journey. Whether or not you realize it, a breakup is the beginning of a new life trajectory. Travel – whether it’s time for a change of domestic scenery or a vacation – perfectly symbolizes a new journey. Overcoming a painful separation requires an outside perspective, which is often gained through travel.

• Invite friends over for a dinner party. The depression that is liable to ensue after a breakup often leads to isolation, but that is when you most need your friends! Why not host a breakup party? Rather than blowing it out with a large group of people, which may include strangers, keep it simple with intimate friends you can trust. For the Silo, Ginny Grimsley.

Jay Ryan is the co-founder of www.BreakupGems.com, an online retailer that specializes in fine breakup and divorce jewelry. Each piece in the collection conveys an empowering message of freedom and renewal with designs that are both stylish and meaningful for anyone overcoming a recent breakup or simply celebrating happy singlehood.

Life Lessons Everyone Can Learn From Olympic Athletes

All eyes were on Rio for two weeks when the world’s greatest athletes competed in the 2016 Summer Games. Next years Summer Olympics look to be no different. While it’s great to enjoy the games, there are actually some very important lessons that everyone can learn from watching Olympic athletes.

Steve Siebold
Steve Siebold

Steve Siebold, a former professional athlete, psychological performance coach and author of 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of The World Class, says there are 10 important lessons we can all learn about success from Olympic athletes:

  1. They never stop learning: Olympic athletes are at the top of their games because they spend so much time practicing, watching replays of their performance and strategizing with their coaches. If you want to be the best at something, you must commit yourself to being a student for life.

2. They overcome obstacles: When most people run into an obstacle, they seek escape.  Olympic athletes have a plan to push forward when this happens and learn all they can from the challenge.  They know facing adversity is part of being successful.

You can beat adversity! The no1 ranked player lost to skill and mental toughness.
Click me! You can beat adversity! The 2016 #1 ranked player lost to skill and mental toughness.

  1. They think big: Ask most people what they’re thinking at any given time, and you might be surprised to learn how many think about just getting by.  That’s called selling yourself short.  If you ask every athlete in Rio if they think they are going to win the gold, they would all tell you ‘yes.’ They fully believe in themselves and their abilities, and nothing you could say will talk them out of it. They think big and therefore get big results.
  1. They know consciousness is contagious. Olympic athletes live together and spend so much time together because consciousness is contagious. Your level of success in any area of your life is most likely the same as the people you spend the most time with.  If you want to be better at something, get around people who push you to greatness.
  1. They are consistently great.  The reason Olympians are so consistent is because their actions are congruent with their thought processes.  They have a very clear mental picture of what they want, why they want it and how to move closer to their target objective.  Do you?
  1. They compartmentalize their emotions.  In other words, Olympic athletes have the ability to put aside anything else going on at that very moment, and focus only on the task in front of them: winning the gold.
  1. They know very good is bad.  For the average person, to be classified as very good is something to be proud of.  For the great ones like Olympians, it’s an insult. Don’t settle for mediocrity. Why just be happy with the bronze or silver when you can go for the gold?
  1. They are held accountable: Olympic athletes are held accountable on so many levels.  One of the biggest problems is that most people have no means of accountability or a support system in place when it comes to what they’re trying to accomplish. Whether it’s losing weight, making more money or anything else, being held accountable changes everything.
  1. They know it’s their desire that counts. Olympic athletes know winning isn’t everything.  It’s wanting to win that counts.  Olympians have a “whatever it takes” attitude.  They’ve made the decision to pay any price and bear any burden in the name of victory.
  1. They are comeback artists: While most people are demoralized by setbacks and defeat, Olympians know that large scale success is based on a series of comebacks. Emotionally speaking, they don’t understand the concept of giving up. On the physical plane, they have perseverance. On the mental plane, they have toughness.  On the spiritual plane, we call it artistry. For the Silo, Jack Allen.

Supplemental- Top Ten All Time Sporting Upsets

Hypnotherapy

hypnotherapistSo many of my clients bring interesting cases to me, everyone is different and so therefore interesting in their own way. But one case that stands out was a client who had “misophonia” – which meant that she experienced a heightened feeling of anxiety or “fight or flight response” in response to certain sounds – mainly that of other people eating. It was becoming difficult even eating around her family. This was a case for hypnotherapy.

With just two sessions we completely solved the problem, We went back in time to her childhood where the problem began – with just a very innocent situation (she didn’t really remember this consciously) but her subconscious mind had held onto it and certain sounds still triggered anxiety. And rather than getting better over time, it was getting worse. Going back to that event, in a safe and controlled way, meant that the problem was resolved almost immediately.

What I described above is known as regression hypnotherapy. It’s all about going back in time to where the problem was first triggered. When people have problematic emotions which are being repeatedly triggered, such as panic, anxiety, depression, etc. , it is usually because something happened which wasn’t fully processed at the time and then the subconscious mind holds onto that feeling, thinking that it’s protecting you.

Once you go back to it, and process the “memory” properly (I say memory in inverted commas because often we don’t remember the event consciously, but it’s stored away in our subconscious which is like a giant library). So once we go back to the original event the subconscious is able to understand that it’s over now and releases the emotion. It is extremely powerful and cathartic. There is more information about regression hypnotherapy in my blog post here: http://www.synergy-wellbeing.com/category/regression/

Are there any preparations required before embarking on hypnotherapy?

"You're getting sleepy."
“You’re getting sleepy.”

Not really. I often recommend that people don’t drink a lot of caffeine before a session because this triggers the fight / flight response – which is the opposite to the relaxation response – so it can interfere with the session a little and make it harder to relax. But other than that, no. Someone who meditates or is good at visualization will generally find they go into hypnosis a lot more quickly, but everyone can be hypnotized. We’re in a state of hypnosis when we watch the television!

I would love to help someone who feels that they are “over–sensitive” – and I would prefer to call it “highly sensitive” myself – because their sensitivities could relate back to childhood and things they are subconsciously holding onto which distressed them. Regression hypnotherapy can help to release the memories trapped in the subconscious so that those emotions are not triggered so readily or inappropriately in the future. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is also an excellent technique which I teach my clients a lot – and this can used as a self help tool whenever needed too, on a daily basis even!


H
ow can we enable our subconscious to let go of bad feelings?

There is a technique which I use myself a lot, and also teach people about. It’s called mindfulness. The sad thing is that we are often told “don’t get upset / don’t cry, etc.” so we learn to push our feelings down – we suppress them. Another word for suppression is depression. So we can easily become depressed when we suppress our true feelings. One of the beautiful things that mindfulness teaches us is to be present as much as possible to our experience. So if you’re feeling angry, or hurt, for example, it’s much better to allow yourself to “feel” that feeling.

Contrary to popular belief, this doesn’t make it feel worse, it actually really helps! So, next time you’re feeling bad – ask yourself “how am I feeling? What does that feel like? Where do I feel that in my body?” – really acknowledge it. And – hey presto! The feeling seriously diminishes or disappears altogether! Our feelings just want to be listened to, to be heard. So once we do this, they are satisfied and they settle back down.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is something else I practice, and this is wonderful for allowing us to let go of negative emotions. It is also known as the “tapping technique” and more information can be found on my website. For the Silo, Liz Davies Clinical Hypnotherapist and EFT Practitioner.

 

Ways To Retrain And Put Your Adult Brain Back In Charge

Jungian Psychology uses art-therapy, dreams and imagery in mapping personal and collective unconscious, archetypes and complexes. Jung believed that there were fears and thoughts that children and adults exhibit that are "remarkably similar across time and culture" (allpsych.com) image: skycladtherapist.files.wordpress.com
Jungian Psychology uses art-therapy, dreams and imagery in mapping personal and collective unconscious, archetypes and complexes. Jung believed that there were fears and thoughts that children and adults exhibit that are “remarkably similar across time and culture” (allpsych.com) image: skycladtherapist.files.wordpress.com

The human brain is a wonder of the universe, but our understanding of it can seem contradictory, says Steven Jay Fogel, author of the book Your Mind Is What Your Brain Does for a Living.

“On the one hand, we’re often told of those crucial years that our brain develops in childhood, when we’re rapidly progressing in development of our language and other skills, and our preadolescent and teenage years, when our brains undergo a sort of second Big Bang of learning,” says Fogel, (www.StevenJayFogel.com).

“But although it may seem that the brain is pretty much set by adulthood, it remains malleable throughout adulthood; it continues to change as we learn and adapt.”

Most of us are unaware that elements of our inner child’s development are constantly tugging at us, and we don’t have a clue that it’s happening, he says. In Jungian therapy there’s a concept called the dark side, or shadow side, the place in our unconscious to which certain feelings and thoughts are banished because they don’t support our image of ourselves, he says.

Steven Jay Fogel is a longtime student of human behavior and development.
Steven Jay Fogel is a longtime student of human behavior and
development.

“That is our inner child responding to the emotional pain we experienced and interpreted with the limited understanding we had when we were very young. It continues to steer our reactions and behavior as adults, often in inappropriate ways,” Fogel says.

Awareness creates an opportunity for change. Fogel reviews how our adult brain can take command of the inner child:

• Recognize the elements of your self identity that keep you trapped. Our identity – how we want the world to see us – develops, in part, as a response to avoiding pain. Our identity may change from one situation to another (in the same way a chameleon changes its body color to match its surroundings) as we slip on the persona we believe is expected in a particular environment or social setting. This automatic behavior is the opposite of making mindful choices, and it robs us of the joy of living in the moment and inhibits spontaneity.

• Be aware of when you’re acting. Many of us live our lives as though we’re playing parts in various movies, navigating different storylines every day. You may be the righteous Clint Eastwood manager at work and then shift into the town drunk during happy hour, and later the loving husband and father during brunch the following weekend morning. When you’re playing these roles, you’re not in the present.

Be skeptical of what the voice in your head may tell you. It’s not easy to recognize and quiet the mental chatter associated with the different roles we play. We’ve become so accustomed to the voice in our head, that we don’t realize its messages are programmed – and not necessarily the truth. Is your voice telling you to feel guilty? Ashamed? Angry? Is that rational? If not, it may be your inner child acting out of a childlike fear.

“Instead of simply responding to what we’re hardwired to think and react, we can hear, in mindful repose, those promptings as simply chatter,” Fogel says. “When you’re mindful, the inner child’s chatter can be seen for what it is, and you will be free to take a more mature directionin your day-to-day living.”

Steven Jay Fogel is a longtime student of human behavior and development; he has studied with psychologists, educators, and rabbinical scholars. Your Mind Is What Your Brain Does for a Living, (Greenleaf Book Group Press, 2014), is his third book. He is also the author of My Mind Is Not Always My Friend: A Guide for How to Not Get in Your Own Way (Fresh River Press, 2010) and The Yes-I-Can Guide to Mastering Real Estate (Times Books-Random House). For decades he has been an active participant in the human potential movement, inspiring and mentoring others to seek their true selves. Fogel is a principal and cofounder of Westwood Financial Corp., one of the largest owner-operators of retail properties in the United States. He is a licensed real estate broker and past chairman of the California Arts Council.

Supplemental- Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events that are apparently causally unrelated or unlikely to occur together by chance, yet are experienced as occurring together in a meaningful manner. The concept of synchronicity was first described in this terminology by Carl Gustav Jung, a Swiss psychologist, in the 1920s.
The concept does not question, or compete with, the notion of causality. Instead, it maintains that just as events may be grouped by cause, they may also be grouped by meaning. A grouping of events by meaning need not have an explanation in terms of cause and effect.

Click to view on I-tunes
Click to view on I-tunes