Tag Archives: Ego

Thoughts On Rejection And Concept Of Groundlessness

Rejection. “We lived in Northern New Mexico. I was standing in front of our house drinking a cup of tea. I heard the car drive up and the door bang shut. Then he walked around the corner, and without warning, he told me he was having an affair and he wanted a divorce. I remember the sky and how huge it was. I remember the sound of the river and the steam rising up from my tea. There was no time, no thought, there was nothing–just the light and a profound, limitless stillness. Then I regrouped and picked up a stone and threw it at him.” -Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart

This quote, about the moment Pema Chodron’s life began to change, the moment she experienced true groundlessness, applies to so many circumstances in life. Whether we are experiencing the rejection of a lover or spouse, or rejection from a gallery, grant application, art school, the list goes on and on, it is not uncommon for it to feel like the ground has slipped from beneath your feet. When the floor opens up and swallows you whole, it is human instinct to close up, distract, do whatever it takes to make the feeling go away. These are the moments when we must strive the hardest to open up and soften, allow whatever we are feeling to wash over us, and let that be okay.

If you are an artist, you may have tried applying for a grant. You may have given up after a rejection letter or two. But do you know that for every twenty grant applications you complete, you might receive one or two. Might. There are absolutely no guarantees, and the grant writing field is highly competitive. It is important to understand this going in and to have not only a system to keep churning out applications (because, after all this is an important part of many artists’ income and should be treated as such) it is also absolutely critical that you have your head firmly on your shoulders prepared to deal with the pain of rejection.

Let’s face it, rejection always feels personal. You put a piece of yourself out into the world only to have someone tell you it isn’t what they’re looking for. This hurts. And again, that’s OK.

What is important is that you never let the hurt get the best of you. Do not internalize rejection. Remind yourself that you are one of many. You are relying on the subjectivity of a person or group of people, and just because you do not win favor does not mean your art isn’t any good. Rather, it means your art wasn’t what they were looking for on that day for that particular thing. Accept this and move along.

Often, rejection has nothing at all to do with you. This is very difficult to get the mind around. Very often rejection is about the unspoken details being sought that someone else might happen to present.

Buddhist thought teaches us to accept groundlessness, work with it, allow ourselves to sit with it. We are all in the habit of glossing difficult emotions. We self-medicate sometimes with substances, or by tuning out and not letting the hard stuff in. Begin to notice when you start to check out and see how it feels to just be still with the difficult stuff.

Learning to deal with rejection will serve you in many ways. You will find the strength to continue your mission no matter what happens, and you will do so with grace. You will learn that just because you are not chosen one time doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try again. Often, grants and galleries invite those who are not chosen in one round to apply again. And again. The people who run things like this understand what you must begin to internalize–that it really isn’t about you.

If you begin to incorporate these things into your consciousness, eventually they will become part of the fabric. You will begin to live by the new way of thinking you have cultivated. A mindset that puts rejection into perspective and allows you to pursue your forward momentum no matter what.

Brainard Carey

Life is full of rejection, big and small. Hiding away won’t get you far. Choosing the path of least resistance may seem like the easy way but it is a road to nowhere. Remember, if you are an Artist choosing to make your art into a career, it means putting the most intimate pieces of yourself out into the world for all to see. It is a warrior’s path and requires a warrior spirit. For the Silo, Brainard Carey.

Brainard  is currently giving free webinars on how to write a better Artist bio and statement and how to get a show in a gallery – you can register for that live webinar and ask questions live by clicking here.

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Jack White’s Guacamole Recipe Was Rider “Inside Joke”

Jack White

FOR GOD SAKES!

dear journalists and other people looking for drama or a diva,

even in the age of the short attention span internet article, it’s still hard to believe you

are STILL writing about this:

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2015/02/15/386409331/for-musician-jack-white-any-old-guacamole-just-wont-do

wow. classy.

seems like there’s a new rule number one for up and coming journalists: dont let the facts get in the way of click bait.

at the risk of incurring even more of this hoo haa (and i’ve definitely turned my cheek more than once lately) and even

though our management sent out a letter to clarify this, and since

this seems to be all anyone can ask me about lately,

here’s the real deal, and hopefully it’ll explain this nonsensical scenario and we can move on with our lives. (or what have you).

first off, this is none of your business, but i have no specific demands in my dressing room. i know i could ask for lots of

things but i actually dont ask for ANYTHING. i take with me what i need,

and that aint much.

anything on the rider is for the band and the crew.

this “guacamole recipe” is my hilarious tour managers inside

joke with the local promoters, it’s his recipe, not mine. it’s just something to break

up the boredom, seeing who can make it best. though i wouldn’t

know because i’ve never had it. i can’t even make kool aid

let alone cook any real food enough to have a “recipe”. sorry, i dont have that talent.

bananas: did it occur to anyone someone on the tour

might have an allergy to them? no? hmmm. one day some fantasy journalist out

there will call someone in the biz and actually have a rider explained to them, maybe

none of them have ever been on tour. oh well, let’s move on,

first amendment issues: i fully believe in the freedom of the press (though

the supposed search for truth from the press requires microscopes and some morton salt), and i also defend anyone’s right

to free speech (just look at my lack of respect for grammar in this letter and tell me i’m not for communicating freely)

and i defend the right to free information in regards to public funds, but never in my 20 years of playing

shows has my contract and tour rider been published in the paper that i recall.

do you know why we dont do that or want that? a hundred articles about bananas, free speech, and guacamole is why;

it’s because people dont understand what a rider is or what the terms of a contract are. they’re out of their element,

and you can’t blame them for it. and people who write about that know this. people WANT a rider to be a list of demands that

a diva insists occur lest he or she refuse to play a note of music.

but in reality, it’s just some food and drinks backstage for the

hundred workers and guests who have to live in a concrete

bunker for 15 hours. some people bring thier own living rooms on tour,

some people ask for a huge spread. who cares? what you’r looking for

is someone throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get their brown m and m’s,

sorry to dissappoint.

someone printed that i’m never going to oklahoma again?

not true. i love oklahoma, that’s why i booked this show instead

of playing chicago or atlanta for four times as much money.

ask around in tulsa. i’ve been

there at least three times on these last two albums. i love it there.

our booking agent warned the college that other artists might

not book shows there? of course they did, it’s bad business

what that school paper did and really rude. of course they are going to tell them to wise up.

am i pissed at the students at oklahoma university? absolutely not. am i dissappointed in young journalists at their school paper?

absolutely. but i forgive them, they’re young and have learned

thier lesson about truth and ethics hopefully. all they have to do is

google this to know that it’s not worth it. look for real problems instead

next time. look for the truth, not fake drama. i got pissed during my show and berated

the crowd? no. sorry, didn’t happen.  

i made jokes about the paper publishing that info, so which of us is thin skinned?

they have freedom of speech but i dont? at my show? ok. i guess the rules change for different

people. the crowd were amazing and we played for 2 and a half hours that night.

people were told to delete

photos on their camera? : i dont know much about that but it must

be a miscommunication about what was

public property at the college and the contract we had with the university to

let us do our work in peace; but i’ll give you an example,

if someone working at a theater we played at started taking pictures of all of

our workers and our gear they’d probably get fired by their theater or promoter.

sorry to the student paper budding press papparazi on that one, but is this a tmz assignment or can

you give us some peace while we try to put on a show for the students? give us a break man.

i know it’s a fun thing for people to try to turn me into a jerk and a diva, but in

this case it’s pretty ridiculous and has almost nothing to do with me. my relationship

with the fans at that show and how we got to a new place together through music remains intact

and i’d love to do it again with them.

i think that’s everything, can i go back to making music now? no? ok. crochet it is.

jack white

III

Supplemental- It might get loud