discussion | The Silo

We live in one of the most politically heated times in history. Expressing your point of view is a personal decision and can be tricky. Although conversations may start out benign, they can quickly become a toxic dialogue.

Sharon Schweitzer, an international etiquette expert, author, and the founder of Access to Culture, says there are several “do’s and dont’s” to make sure polite political discourse doesn’t turn into hostile debates.

Show respect for differing opinions

It can be challenging to listen to those with different opinions. It’s important to show respect and take time to listen, giving the other person the opportunity to share their viewpoints. The Platinum rule encourages treating others as they wish to be treated. Stay calm, collected and respectful.

Agree to disagree

If their opinions are different from your views, you can agree to disagree. Try saying something along the lines of, “I respect your perspective, but I think we may need to agree to disagree” or “That’s a different way of thinking about the issue, but I’m comfortable if you and I can agree to disagree.”

Ask questions

If someone asks you a question about your political beliefs, you can reciprocate by asking them about their own beliefs. Let the other person do the talking while you listen. Try to ask open-ended questions such as, “What are your thoughts on the current political atmosphere?” or “How do you feel about the media’s portrayal of …?”

Change the subject

If someone continues to ask your opinion, change the topic by saying: “It’s impossible to keep track of the different versions of the news. How is your family doing by the way?” “With the divisive political atmosphere, I’m not comfortable sharing my personal opinions, but thank you for your interest.” “I can’t answer that question, but what I can discuss is… ”

DON’T

Get angry, cross or upset

It can be difficult to keep your temper, but don’t get angry or upset if you don’t agree with someone’s viewpoints. Expressing sarcasm, bitterness or passive aggressiveness won’t change any minds. It will only damage your reputation.

Talk over them

The worst thing you could do is interrupt conversation and start talking about your own opinion. Be respectful of other opinions and views. Listen attentively, especially when you don’t agree with that viewpoint. It gets easier the more you practice.

Overshare

Politics is a difficult conversation, particularly with family members and close friends. If you are speaking to someone you’ve just met, refrain from oversharing. In this case, less is more. Avoid saying something you will later regret.

Make assumptions

We make mental notes when we first meet someone new. We make a first impression based on hair, shoes, watch, clothing, mannerisms, etc. However, political views are hidden unless they are shared verbally or by wearing a revealing detail. It’s important to approach people with an open mind to avoid awkward and potentially toxic conversations.

For the Silo, Scott Jones.

Featured image- http://ashleylewis-oldmeetsnew.blogspot.ca/

Anyone who’s been caught at a wedding reception or a cocktail party discussing recent changes in the weather knows that these situations can quickly go from bad to worse and that making small talk isn’t as easy as it sounds.

Conversations with strangers can sometimes be stilted and uncomfortable, often resulting in a mad dash for the door as soon as is socially acceptable, but it doesn’t have to be this way.

“Small talk is an art,” says Small Talk Vineyards Owner, Hank Hunse. “It isn’t a skill that people are born with, but it can be mastered. Small talk is the starting point of all relationships and whether you are at a friend’s wine tasting party or a networking event it is an important starting point for everyone.”

Small Talk Vineyards, located in Niagara-on-the-Lake, knows all about the art of good conversation and the winery’s staff have become experts at small talk.

“A big part of our business is engaging our visitors in conversation,” said Hunse. “With hundreds of people visiting the winery each season, we have had to learn how to keep our guests engaged in conversation while ensuring they feel comfortable.”

To help us conquer our jitters of awkward meetings and functions, Small Talk Vineyards has compiled a list of five tips to mastering the art of small talk:

Remember Names

Introductions tend pass in a blur. Names are forgotten just as quickly as the hors d’oeuvres disappear, but make an effort to slow down and stay present. Repeat the person’s name in your head a few times and if you forget a name, discreetly ask a third party for help. Remembering someone’s name goes a long way and they are more likely to approach you at future gatherings.

Establish Eye Contact

This may sound like a no-brainer, but in uncomfortable situations people tend to avoid eye contact. Casual eye contact and a warm, friendly smile demonstrate your interest and desire to communicate. Eye contact for five to ten seconds indicates curiosity and is generally considered friendly. Make an effort to keep your body language open and relaxed – you’ll send out confident and friendly signals that will draw people to you

Discuss the Setting

Finding a topic of discussion after introductions is the hardest part of small talk. By commenting on the location of the event — how long the line is for drinks or floral arrangements — you are creating common ground. For example, if we sense that someone is uncomfortable during a wine tasting, we often comment on the bright paint colours that decorate the winery to find common ground.

Have Fun!

It’s important to remember that you aren’t alone. There are others in the room feeling just as uncomfortable as you, so stop hiding behind your glass of wine and enjoy yourself! Allow yourself to be curious and ask questions, you never know who you might meet.

Make a Clean Escape

When your conversation starts to draw to a close, take the opportunity to make a natural exit. Using phrases such as “I need to grab another drink” or “I need to say hello to a friend who just arrived” allows you to make a clean exit. Make sure to end the conversation with something like: “I’ve enjoyed talking to you, and I hope to talk to you again.” This keeps the lines of communication open for another meeting.

To learn more about Small Talk Vineyards please visit www.smalltalkvineyards.com. Follow Small Talk on Twitter @SmallTalkWines and like it on Facebook at www.facebook.com/smalltalkwinery

About Small Talk Vineyards:

Small Talk Vineyards is an innovative, boutique, small-production VQA winery located in Niagara-on-the-Lake. The estate vineyard is family run and has been in operation since 1955. Small Talk’s labels are about attending dinner parties and engaging in conversation, the front label in the “Speech Bubble” is what we say out loud during these gatherings and the back label, the “thought bubble” expresses what we’re thinking. Small Talk Vineyards features bold, fresh VQA wines that expose the dramatic gap between what you say … and what you really think!

The Silo

Tag Archives: discussion

Do’s And Don’ts Of Political Conversations

Small Talk Vineyards on how to Master the art of “Small Talk”

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