Tag Archives: conversation

How to Engage In Or Avoid A Political Conversation

January 5, 2023 The Silo 1 Comment

So how do you respond when someone brings you into the conversation? How do you answer when they ask you for your opinion or who you’re going to vote for?

You could always just doodle on a receipt like this one from J. Barker :) — You could always just doodle on a receipt like this one from J. Barker 🙂

Sharon Schweitzer, an international etiquette expert, author and founder of Protocol & Etiquette Worldwide, says you have options.

Has politics become a reality TV show? Tonight's debate is being called the "Lisa Simpson versus Bart Simpson" debate. — Has politics become a reality TV show?

You don’t want to respond

Keeping your opinion to yourself can be difficult; however, it is possible. Say something like, “In the midst of such a contentious political season, I feel it’s best to keep my opinion to myself. I do appreciate your interest and wish you the best in your political decisions.”

By acknowledging and thanking them for their genuine interest, you are able to get out of sticky political conversations but retain your well-mannered and ever sophisticated demeanor.

If they push again

If they keep pushing for a response, you can play the undecided card and change the subject.

“I’m still evaluating the candidates and the issues and haven’t made up my mind yet. It will be interesting to see how it plays out.”

To get them off the topic for good, ask them about something meaningful to them that they will want to talk about. “I hear your son got accepted to Ohio State. Congratulations!” “Great job on closing that account. How did you do it?” “Tell me about your trip to the mountains a few weeks ago. I hear it is beautiful this time of year.”

You want to respond

If you would like to express your beliefs, the best way to do so is to cite research and concrete reasons why your views align a certain way, as this will encourage more of an intellectual conversation than a possible war of opinions. Just as you want to express your beliefs, be courteous and let the person you are speaking to express his or her beliefs, even if you disagree.

If you disagree

It’s inevitable that disagreements will arise, but when they do, handle them with grace, dignity and respect. Say something like, “That’s an interesting way to look at it and you bring up some valid points; however, I feel that…” Never raise your voice, show anger, abruptly walk away or make it personal.

Either way

Whether you decide to respond or not, be tactful, polite, and remember that educated responses will help you either to cordially engage, or graciously decline whenever these inevitable conversations cross your path. For the Silo, Alex Smith.

Culture

Christmas Holiday Tipping: Who Do I Tip And How Much?

December 22, 2022 The Silo 3 Comments

There’s the mailman, mail woman and the doorman, door woman, the pet sitter and personal trainer, not to forget the housekeeper, home healthcare worker and many others. So just who do you tip this holiday season and how much?

Sharon Schweitzer, an international etiquette expert, author, and the founder of Protocol & Etiquette Worldwide, offers this simple tipping checklist of which service providers you need to tip this holiday season and how much:

Business (check corporate policy):

Clients: Business gift baskets of chocolate, edible fruit, nuts, cheese, wine, cookies, petite fours; golf balls & non-logo gifts.
CEO/Boss: Group gift to their favorite charity or non-profit foundation
Assistant: Bonus or gift based on relationship length
Colleagues: gift they will like for sports, hobby, or dining, gift card.
Office Gift Exchange: don’t go rogue, follow the spending guidelines.

Education & Schools (follow policy):

Professor: greeting card, no gift
Teacher: Consider a group gift with parents pooled funds
Assistant /Aide: $25 – $50 gift certificate
Multiple Teachers: small gift, candle, baked goods, gift certificate.
Principle: Holiday card & baked goods
School Secretary: café gift card, small gift or gift certificate
School Nurse: café gift card, small gift or gift certificate

Home or Building Personnel:

Live-in help (cook or butler): between a week-month’s pay, plus a gift
Housekeeper: if they come once a week: equivalent of a day’s pay, or $50. If they come daily: equivalent of a week’s pay, and possibly a gift
Gardener: equivalent of a week’s service
Landscaping crew: equivalent of a week’s service, divided among the crew
Pool cleaning crew: equivalent of one session, divided among the crew.
Garage attendant: between $15 and $40 or give a small gift
Garbage/recycling: if city permits, $10-$30 each for extra holiday effort
Doorman: between $50 – $100 each, or gift, depending on extra duties
Elevator Operator and Handyman: between $20 – $50 each
Newspaper delivery: between $10 – $35, or give a small gift

Healthcare providers:

Private health care nurse: week’s pay or a gift of similar value
Home health employee: follow policy / generous gift basket of holiday treats
Nursing home staff: follow policy / gift basket of holiday treats for all

Personal grooming:

Hairstylist, manicure, pedicure, specialist: equivalent of a visit
Barber: haircut & shave equivalent or give a gift
Massage therapist/personal trainer: session equivalent or give a gift

Pet care:

Groomer: equivalent of one session or give a gift
Walker: week’s pay equivalent or “1-2 visits” per com
Sitter: a week’s pay and a paw print note from your pet

Package & Mail Delivery:

The United States Postal Service provides the public with a tipping and gift receiving policy on their website, FedEx and UPS do not. The information provided for FedEx and UPS is from customer service representatives who preferred not to give their names.

United States/Canada Postal Service:

Employees may accept baked goods (homemade/store bought) items to share with the branch office. Customers may give edible arrangements, gift cards for merchandise or services valued up to $20 per interaction. Gifts cannot exceed $50 per calendar year.
Gifting cash, VISA, MasterCard, or gift cards that may be used as cash are prohibited per USPS Employee Tipping and Gift Receiving Policy and also prohibited for Canada Post employees.

FedEx:

Company policies discourage gift cash or gift cards. The driver will politely decline the holiday gratuity. If the customer is insistent, the driver may ultimately accept the gift.

UPS

UPS does not have a limit; tipping is left to customer’s discretion.

Avoid giving holiday tips to people on this list; send holiday e-cards instead:

Accountant/CPA

Attorney

Auditor

Banker

Bookkeeper

Dentist

Doctor

Executive Coach

Members, Board of Directors or Trustees

Seamstress/ Tailor

Veterinarian

Culture

5 Ways Conversation Could Get You Punched In The Mouth

March 8, 2021 The Silo 1 Comment

Take it from the queen of verbal mishaps, there may not be a right way to start a conversation but on the wrong day, a poor choice of words could get your tongue snatched out of your mouth. Believe me when I say, you do not want that problem on your hands. So, to minimize your risks, I’ve narrowed down a solid list of WRONG ways to start a conversation, with the hopes that you’ll take heed and have more thoughtful discussions in the New Year.

I’m not condoning violence of any sort but I can tell you with absolute certainty that you are in great danger if you say any of these things to the wrong person. Choose wisely.

She was asking for it-
If somehow in your mangled mind you believe that a woman who dresses provocatively, gets drunk or “chooses” an abusive partner deserves to be assaulted, well you might just deserve to lose a few teeth. The reality is, we could all make better choices from time to time but you don’t get to be the judge of anyone but yourself. Victim blaming is never okay. This type of thinking perpetuates a culture of abuse. You’re better than that…right? Hold abusers accountable for their actions. If you can’t do that, just be quiet.

Are you pregnant?-
You know good and well I’m not pregnant. This age old attempt to body shame women has gotten many people hurt, from the ancient times of Jesus of Nazareth to the current age of the Kardashians. Taking cheap shots at a woman’s body is simply a bad idea. If you’re genuinely curious to know if a woman is pregnant, you’ll just have to wait until she announces it. If the news never comes, well there’s your answer. If you’re concerned that she could possibly be gaining too much weight, start an exercise group and invite all of your friends to participate.

The earth is flat-
You would think a person would only say this in a conversation for shock value or to be provocative but it turns out this is actually a thing. There are real people out here who refuse to believe the earth is round and this is problematic. This conversation would likely start off with laughs and jeers but quickly turn ugly when the flat-earther suggests you’re stupid for allowing yourself to be brainwashed by live footage from outer space, actual satellite images and scientific research. It’s only a matter of time before this debate transforms into a full on brawl and somebody ends up in the ER.

If you can say “nigger/nigga,” why can’t I?-
Why are we still having this discussion? I mean, really. We’ve only been talking about this for the last 60 years. You need to be more concerned about your twisted obsession with wanting to say that word. What is it in you that just cannot accept that there is a word born out of hatred that you should not use? Even more so, why does it bother you that a marginalized group of people have taken the power from an otherwise derogatory word and transformed it into a term of endearment. If you cannot understand that this does not involve you, you have bigger problems than using the “N word.” You’ve been warned.

What are you?-
What do you mean, ‘what am I?’ What are you? I’m a human being who is minding my own business and not walking around challenging other people on their ethnicity. Biracial and multiethnic people do not owe it to you to satisfy your curiosity about the realities that exist outside of Mayberry. I’m sorry if your limited understanding of the world leaves you confused and intrigued. Find a travel agent and book yourself a trip to another zip code. And while we’re on the topic , ‘no, you cannot touch my hair.’

Some accidents in life are preventable. Hopefully, this guide will help you avoid conversation calamities in the New Year.

#AskMe Tees spark thoughtful and meaningful conversations about important and fun topics but we cannot keep up with the shenanigans and tomfoolery of habitual line crossers. Simply put, there isn’t a t-shirt for every conversation. So, we created this. For the Silo, Ayanna Smith.

Ayanna Smith is the founder of #AskMe Tees, the award-winning Escape Lounge breakout games in Washington, D.C., and Ridlz. She is brutally honest, sharp-tongued, quick-witted and hard to embarrass, yet philanthropic, service-oriented and deeply compassionate. Between her budding business ventures and family, she has a lot to talk about!

Politics

Do’s And Don’ts Of Political Conversations

October 19, 2017 The Silo 2 Comments

We live in one of the most politically heated times in history. Expressing your point of view is a personal decision and can be tricky. Although conversations may start out benign, they can quickly become a toxic dialogue.

Sharon Schweitzer, an international etiquette expert, author, and the founder of Access to Culture, says there are several “do’s and dont’s” to make sure polite political discourse doesn’t turn into hostile debates.

Show respect for differing opinions

It can be challenging to listen to those with different opinions. It’s important to show respect and take time to listen, giving the other person the opportunity to share their viewpoints. The Platinum rule encourages treating others as they wish to be treated. Stay calm, collected and respectful.

Agree to disagree

If their opinions are different from your views, you can agree to disagree. Try saying something along the lines of, “I respect your perspective, but I think we may need to agree to disagree” or “That’s a different way of thinking about the issue, but I’m comfortable if you and I can agree to disagree.”

Ask questions

If someone asks you a question about your political beliefs, you can reciprocate by asking them about their own beliefs. Let the other person do the talking while you listen. Try to ask open-ended questions such as, “What are your thoughts on the current political atmosphere?” or “How do you feel about the media’s portrayal of …?”

Change the subject

If someone continues to ask your opinion, change the topic by saying: “It’s impossible to keep track of the different versions of the news. How is your family doing by the way?” “With the divisive political atmosphere, I’m not comfortable sharing my personal opinions, but thank you for your interest.” “I can’t answer that question, but what I can discuss is… ”

DON’T

Get angry, cross or upset

It can be difficult to keep your temper, but don’t get angry or upset if you don’t agree with someone’s viewpoints. Expressing sarcasm, bitterness or passive aggressiveness won’t change any minds. It will only damage your reputation.

Talk over them

The worst thing you could do is interrupt conversation and start talking about your own opinion. Be respectful of other opinions and views. Listen attentively, especially when you don’t agree with that viewpoint. It gets easier the more you practice.

Overshare

Politics is a difficult conversation, particularly with family members and close friends. If you are speaking to someone you’ve just met, refrain from oversharing. In this case, less is more. Avoid saying something you will later regret.

Make assumptions

We make mental notes when we first meet someone new. We make a first impression based on hair, shoes, watch, clothing, mannerisms, etc. However, political views are hidden unless they are shared verbally or by wearing a revealing detail. It’s important to approach people with an open mind to avoid awkward and potentially toxic conversations.

For the Silo, Scott Jones.

Featured image- http://ashleylewis-oldmeetsnew.blogspot.ca/

Culture

Natural World Immediacy A Rare Concept

August 15, 2017 The Silo Leave a comment

Immediacy? “Nothing important comes into being overnight; even grapes or figs need time to ripen. If you say that you want a fig now, I will tell you to be patient. First, you must allow the tree to flower, then put forth fruit; then you have to wait until the fruit is ripe. So if the fruit of a fig tree is not brought to maturity instantly or in an hour, how do you expect the human mind to come to fruition, so quickly and easily?” -Epictetus

TheWormForSiloSite

watershort2_0002

The Worm (2008) and Watershort (2008) are time-contemplative short films by Canadian sound and visual artist Jarrod Barker.

In the natural world, immediacy is rarely a concept. While it is true the Mayfly lives only for a day, it is also true that each fly is one infinitesimal link in the long succession of the species. As humans have increasingly stepped beyond the boundaries of nature, we have begun to forget the importance of waiting and patience. We live surrounded by cheap treasures gotten easily and quickly. But like the Mayfly, these spoils of instant gratification perish quickly leaving us desiring more. No longer do we answer to the rhythm of nature, preferring instead to force the world to step up to our breakneck pace. All the while we are saturated with reminders that “good things come to those who wait” but too often choose to ignore this time tested wisdom.

Stefan Klein works in Berlin. Presently he is examining the concept of waiting. To this end, he has conducted quite a lot of field research. Waiting, he says, “is something that’s so routinely existing in our daily lives but at the same time has this very existential dimension to it so that almost everybody can relate to it but at the same time it’s a very abstract topic.” Another project, titled Introduction to Microeconomics is a book documenting Klein’s repeated ordering and return of a book by the same name. In this way, he examined documentation as a vital element of a whole work. Much of Klein’s work investigates complex systems through performative means. In September, Klein will begin a series of waiting sessions with people from various disciplines. He will meet with guests at a bus stop (a place of waiting) for a conversation. His audience will be comprised of both those who came to see the performance and those who happened to be waiting for the bus. In this way, Klein will access waiting from many perspectives.

Emilie Clark is a New York City based artist who spends part of the year in New Hampshire. Much of her work is based on the work of nineteenth-century natural historians and scientists, most of them women. She also explores the literal interpretation of the word ecology (earth’s household) incorporating historical texts and working in the landscape. In New Hampshire, Clark works in a floating research station surrounded by the natural world. In New York City her experience is quite different though she has noticed similarities in plant species between the two locations. From her research station, Clark collects specimens, makes sound recordings, draws, paints, preserves, and fully immerses herself in nature. This process is rooted not only in creating but in learning.

A Few Words to Keep in your Pocket

A work of art, a career, a relationship, anything worth investing our hearts and minds in, must be given time. We must relearn to wait, to fall back in step with the world around us. For the Silo, Brainard Carey.

Brainard is currently giving free webinars on how to write a better Artist bio and statement and how to get a show in a gallery – you can register for that live webinar and ask questions live by clicking here.

Art

Boston Based Artist Jeannie Motherwell Draws Structures From Uncertainty

November 28, 2016 The Silo Leave a comment

Dear Artist, Aristotle differentiated humans from their animal counterparts by dint of logos, the power of rational speech. Napoleon was attributed the quote, “four hostile newspapers are more to be feared than a thousand bayonets.” Human civilization was founded on the exercise of this divine faculty, and is destroyed by it in equal measure. Speech, in its complexity and weight, is the only world capable of rivaling nature.

This week, in view of two ponderous interviews, I ask you to summon to mind those rare and revelatory conversations that have left an indelible imprint on your life. What intimate discussion would you revisit and savor, if you were aware of the contents beforehand? What words of the past would be left unsaid or better spoken with the retrospective guidance of age?

Abstract acrylic painter Jeannie Motherwell refuses to grow cold in the artistic shadow of her father and stepmother, Robert Motherwell and Helen Frankenthaler. As a stable ecosystem quells its wrestling constituents, Motherwell’s refined intuition hushes the spontaneous boundaries of dilating paint on clay board and canvas. Over a soberly spoken interview, the New York artist now based in Boston, admits in her work the faint pursuit of a faded horizon: the shifting waters from the view of an old home, replaced, in time, by a windowless studio. The methodology of Motherwell’s art – to draw a structure from an uncertainty – eerily echoes a ritual from her upbringing: discerning, with the right words, to the joy of her guardians, the spiritual essences behind their cascades of paint.

Jeannie Motherwell in her Joy Street Studios, Somerville, MA Click image to visit her studio website.

Inexhaustible curator and researcher Ele Carpenter maintains that the lasting footprint of humanity will not be a monument or an idea, but a radioactive glare. Radioactive isotopes of a unique breed first entered the Earth’s atmosphere with the testing of the earliest nuclear bomb, signaling the beginning of a geological period known as the nuclear anthropocene. Dedicated to disseminating information about the irreversible changes to the environment caused by human hand, Carpenter organizes discourse and collaboration on a global scale, uniting scientists, activists, and visionaries in the depiction of a haunting reality that eludes the senses.

Additional interviews include: Barbara Wilks, Nate Page, Frans van Lent, and Katya Gardea Brown.

Looking for new additions to your reading list? Rachel Wolfe, one of our users, is deconstructing and rebuilding her fundamental conceptions of nature and mind. Sensitive Chaos, by Theodor Schwenk, vacillates between rigorous and metaphorical depictions of the underlying systems of movement that govern aeolian and liquid dynamics, from the furious dance of a hurricane to the soft aria of a developing child. Strange Tools, by Alva Noe, is a philosophical text that sees artmaking as a faculty for reflection, a primordial instinct that consciously and unconsciously takes stock of the external conditions that govern our identities and worldview.

Occupy Museums is seizing the means of cultural production with Debtfair, an exhibition dedicated to the overworked and underfunded. Creators, performers, and thinkers with financial weights on their shoulders have until December 9th to see their arduous narrative showcased in the 2017 Whitney Biennial. Debtfair serves to expose the aggressive business models that permeate leading art institutions, while encouraging solidarity amongst all encumbered populations of the economically segmented social landscape. Necessity may be the mother of invention, but no artist needs to bear the burden of Atlas.

The great American poet Wallace Stevens, envisioning life’s origins with a brain that thought without words, once instructed, “Begin, ephebe, by perceiving the idea / Of this invention, this invented world, / The inconceivable idea of the sun.”

As always, here are the links to interview archive and free resources page. For the Silo, Brainard Carey.

*Highlight image: Absolute by Jeannie Motherwell. Visit Jeannie’s Boston Studio by clicking here.

So how do you respond when someone brings you into the conversation? How do you answer when they ask you for your opinion or who you’re going to vote for?

There’s the mailman, mail woman and the doorman, door woman, the pet sitter and personal trainer, not to forget the housekeeper, home healthcare worker and many others. So just who do you tip this holiday season and how much?

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