It’s the kind of headline that makes dog behaviorist and author Melissa Berryman’s blood boil: “Dog on Trial after Attacking Child.”
According to the report, a pointer-hound mix named Milo, a dog that had never caused any problems, was napping on the couch in his home in January when a 6-year-old neighbor arrived. The boy sat down on the couch and started petting the sleeping dog. The child was bitten in the face after being left alone with the dog. No one witnessed the incident.
“The dog was put on trial for an accident that’s preventable when people understand what our behavior means to dogs,” says Berryman, who has spent years studying dog bites and is the author of “People Training for Good Dogs:What Breeders Don’t Tell You and Trainers Don’t Teach”. She also teaches classes on safety and liability protection for dog owners, provides community safety solutions andpromotes the right way to behave around dogs through The Dog Owner Education and Community Safety Council
Author Melissa Berryman (right) is a US national dog bite consultant.
“Dog owners are set up for failure because our default is to blame the dog. Owners get fined or sued for repeated human mistakes. Dogs often pay with their lives for mistakes made by people,” Berryman says.
That’s the case for the American canine Milo. At his Feb. 27 hearing in Mansfield, Mass., selectmen voted to euthanize him. The owners have 10 days to appeal.
“Prevention has to be the priority,” Berryman says. “Sure, it’s cute to us when the baby hugs the dog. But dogs do not say ‘I love you’ with a hug. When one dog ‘hugs’ another, it’s an act of domination. It should be a given that people do not hug dogs. Yet the message for children to hug dogs is prevalent in our culture and the facial bites continue.”
What are some other common misperceptions people have about dog and human behaviors – and how you can change to prevent catastrophes?
Berryman shares 5:
1. Myth: When greeting a new dog, you should extend your hand for it to sniff.
Fact: Dogs don’t sniff each other’s paws when greeting and like us prefer to be asked before being touched by a stranger. Instead, ask the owner and then also ASK the dog by tapping your hand on your thigh simulating a wagging tail and act friendly. The dog will relax and nuzzle you, need to sniff more to get to know you or will stay away.
2. Myth: Breed dictates temperament.
Fact: Dogs, first and foremost, are predatory canines that live in groups. Breeds are generalizations that enable breeders to better market the product they sell. What dictates temperament is their pack position, the role you, the human, play in the group and the rank of group members. Dogs have superior/inferior interrelationships and command and defer accordingly. And just as siblings in a family have the same parents yet are very different, one cannot purchase behavior by buying a dog of a certain breed.
3. Myth: When a dog charges, there is nothing you can do.
Fact: When a dog charges you, it’s trying to decide if you are friend, foe or prey. Their eyesight is poor so hats, sunglasses and other objects you may push or carry can scare them. Act like a friend and pretend you are not afraid. Stand facing the dog with relaxed body language, tap your thigh with your hand and use a high-pitched voice for a friendly greeting like “good girl.” Fake it if you are afraid.
4. Myth: Posting a “Beware of Dog” sign will protect you from liability if your dog injures someone on your property.
Fact: Dogs can only read body language. These signs make people react to your dog in a fearful manner, which is more likely to cause a dog to consider visitors prey and bite them. Use No Trespassing and Dog At Play signs instead.
5. Myth: Only bad dogs owned by bad people bite.
Fact: Even responsible dog owners operate under the same false beliefs about human and canine behavior. They are also encouraged to take a passive role concerning their dog. Any dog can bite especially when it feels personally threatened, is exposed to prey behavior or thinks that someone lower in rank threatens its resources, such as food, toys, bedding and the attention of its owner.
About Melissa Berryman– author of People Training for Good Dogs:What Breeders Don’t Tell You and Trainers Don’t Teach
A Massachusetts animal control officer from 1993 to 1999, Melissa Berryman is a US national dog bite consultant who founded the Dog Owner Education and Community Safety Council (www.doecsc.org) and works with communities, rescue groups, dog owners and bite victims. She also designed and teaches a safety and liability class for dog owners, from which “People Training for Good Dogs” is derived. She has worked with more than 10,000 dogs. Berryman holds an undergraduate degree in Animal Science Pre-Veterinary Medicine, and a master’s in Public Administration. For the Silo, Ginny Grimsley.
Jungian Psychology uses art-therapy, dreams and imagery in mapping personal and collective unconscious, archetypes and complexes. Jung believed that there were fears and thoughts that children and adults exhibit that are “remarkably similar across time and culture” (allpsych.com) image: skycladtherapist.files.wordpress.com
The human brain is a wonder of the universe, but our understanding of it can seem contradictory, says Steven Jay Fogel, author of the book Your Mind Is What Your Brain Does for a Living.
“On the one hand, we’re often told of those crucial years that our brain develops in childhood, when we’re rapidly progressing in development of our language and other skills, and our preadolescent and teenage years, when our brains undergo a sort of second Big Bang of learning,” says Fogel, (www.StevenJayFogel.com).
“But although it may seem that the brain is pretty much set by adulthood, it remains malleable throughout adulthood; it continues to change as we learn and adapt.”
Most of us are unaware that elements of our inner child’s development are constantly tugging at us, and we don’t have a clue that it’s happening, he says. In Jungian therapy there’s a concept called the dark side, or shadow side, the place in our unconscious to which certain feelings and thoughts are banished because they don’t support our image of ourselves, he says.
Steven Jay Fogel is a longtime student of human behavior and development.
“That is our inner child responding to the emotional pain we experienced and interpreted with the limited understanding we had when we were very young. It continues to steer our reactions and behavior as adults, often in inappropriate ways,” Fogel says.
Awareness creates an opportunity for change. Fogel reviews how our adult brain can take command of the inner child:
• Recognize the elements of your self identity that keep you trapped. Our identity – how we want the world to see us – develops, in part, as a response to avoiding pain. Our identity may change from one situation to another (in the same way a chameleon changes its body color to match its surroundings) as we slip on the persona we believe is expected in a particular environment or social setting. This automatic behavior is the opposite of making mindful choices, and it robs us of the joy of living in the moment and inhibits spontaneity.
• Be aware of when you’re acting. Many of us live our lives as though we’re playing parts in various movies, navigating different storylines every day. You may be the righteous Clint Eastwood manager at work and then shift into the town drunk during happy hour, and later the loving husband and father during brunch the following weekend morning. When you’re playing these roles, you’re not in the present.
• Be skeptical of what the voice in your head may tell you. It’s not easy to recognize and quiet the mental chatter associated with the different roles we play. We’ve become so accustomed to the voice in our head, that we don’t realize its messages are programmed – and not necessarily the truth. Is your voice telling you to feel guilty? Ashamed? Angry? Is that rational? If not, it may be your inner child acting out of a childlike fear.
“Instead of simply responding to what we’re hardwired to think and react, we can hear, in mindful repose, those promptings as simply chatter,” Fogel says. “When you’re mindful, the inner child’s chatter can be seen for what it is, and you will be free to take a more mature directionin your day-to-day living.”
Steven Jay Fogel is a longtime student of human behavior and development; he has studied with psychologists, educators, and rabbinical scholars. Your Mind Is What Your Brain Does for a Living, (Greenleaf Book Group Press, 2014), is his third book. He is also the author of My Mind Is Not Always My Friend: A Guide for How to Not Get in Your Own Way (Fresh River Press, 2010) and The Yes-I-Can Guide to Mastering Real Estate (Times Books-Random House). For decades he has been an active participant in the human potential movement, inspiring and mentoring others to seek their true selves. Fogel is a principal and cofounder of Westwood Financial Corp., one of the largest owner-operators of retail properties in the United States. He is a licensed real estate broker and past chairman of the California Arts Council.
Supplemental- Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events that are apparently causally unrelated or unlikely to occur together by chance, yet are experienced as occurring together in a meaningful manner. The concept of synchronicity was first described in this terminology by Carl Gustav Jung, a Swiss psychologist, in the 1920s.
The concept does not question, or compete with, the notion of causality. Instead, it maintains that just as events may be grouped by cause, they may also be grouped by meaning. A grouping of events by meaning need not have an explanation in terms of cause and effect.
Social science experts agree — much of what we “say” is never actually spoken.
“Facial expressions and other body language account for more than half of our communication,” says Adam J. Scheiner, M.D.,
www.adamscheinermd.com, an international Oculoplastic surgeon who’s been featured on “The Dr. Oz Show” and “The Doctors.”
“When we look at someone, especially when we’re meeting for the first time, we quickly scan the eye and mouth areas of the other person’s face to make some quick judgments: Are they friendly or a potential threat? Are they trustworthy? We form first impressions within 7 seconds of meeting.”
Those first impressions can become misleading due to the normal aging process and damage caused by stress, diet and environmental factors, particularly sun exposure.
“I call them the three D’s of aging: Our skin begins to deteriorate; our faces deflate, making them narrower and wrinkled; and our eyelids and face descend, causing drooping and sagging,” Scheiner says. “All of these can affect what our face communicates to those around us.”
It’s bad enough to communicate something you don’t really feel, he says. It’s worse when people react to that communication so often, such as saying, “You look so tired,” that you actually begin to believe you are tired, he says.
He shares the three common “miscommunications”:
• “People say I look tired when I’m not.”
As we age, our eyelids can begin to droop and look heavy, Scheiner says. The lower eyelid region often develops fullness below the lower lashes due to changes in the fat around the eye and changes in the facial fat of the surrounding cheek region. A lower eyelid height, heaviness of the upper or lower eyelid, or an eyebrow falling into the upper eyelid space can also occur. Whatever the cause, having baggy, puffy eyes can make a person look tired, sleepy, old or sick.
• “People avoid me because they say I look stern, even angry. I’m neither!”
Whether through genetics or aging, eyebrows may lack or lose the arc that opens up the eye area and the entire face. A fairly straight eyebrow can convey a closed, unapproachable personality.
• “People think I’m sick or have no energy.”
The brain expects to see a smooth curve from the temple to the cheek through the jawline to the chin. Any break in the curve is read as a lack of vibrancy. Normal facial aging causes loss of youthful fullness due to facial fat changes. This can cause a break in the curve that translates as a lack of vibrancy. In addition, poorly injected facial fillers can cause unnatural results.
Cosmetic procedures shouldn’t aim to turn you into something you’re not, Scheiner says.
“For rejuvenation, you simply want your face to communicate how you really feel inside. When you accomplish that, it’s so natural, people
will say, ‘Wow, you look great!’ But they won’t be able to put their finger on why.” For the Silo, Ginny Grimsley.
Adam J. Scheiner, M.D. is world-renowned in laser eyelid and facial plastic surgery for his groundbreaking treatment for Festoons. He wrote the medical text on the condition and treated two complex causes of Festoons for the Dr. Oz and The Doctors TV shows.
Like millions of others, each June you may find yourself struggling to find that perfect Fathers Day gift for the important “dads” in your life, whether that be your own father, husband, boyfriend, brother or other deserving and meaningful man. While most gracious gift recipients will dutifully smile and nod no matter how underwhelming the product pick, the reality is that it’s the gesture of giving, itself—the recognition of a job being well done—that’s what’s important. That said, there are certainly a myriad of gift ideas that’ll evoke genuine joy. Here are a few that I like this season.
Help Dad become a masterful home mixologist with a Father’s Day gift from Shaker & Spoon! The company offers a monthly subscription service that delivers the craft cocktail experience right to your home: think Blue Apron for cocktails! Each month Dad will receive a box via Priority Mail containing three brand new, original recipes created by world-class bartenders, and enough ingredients like syrups, bitters, mixers and even garnishes for 12 cocktails (4 from each recipe). All he’ll have to do is supply his favorite spirit to mix in. As well, an email is sent before each box arrives with suggestions for a libation that’ll work well with the recipes as well as bar tools he should have on hand. When each box arrives via priority mail, Dad will have everything he needs to take his cocktail game to the next level. He’ll surely be the life of the party.
Speaking of tasty libations, Dads with a passion for well-made spirits and cocktails will certainly appreciate a bottle of Rebel Yell Bourbon. It’ll add a smooth kick of flavor and a warm, cozy finish to your favorite mixed drinks. One recipe great for Father’s Day is “Mike’s Rebel Yell Boozy Bourbon and Bacon Shake.” Chef Mike Johnson, owner of the award-winning Sugarfire Smokehouse in St. Louis, curated this special boozy shake that’s sure to leave Dad’s mouth watering for more. All you need to do to create this delicious shake is blend Rebel Yell Bourbon, ice cream, caramel drizzle and crumbled bacon. Garnish with whipped cream, more caramel drizzle, and a slice of peppered bacon. Then, watch the smiles ensue.
Bring a unique and decidedly gorgeous touch to your kitchen with artisan drinkware from Uno Alla Volta (which means “one at a time”). Entertain your guests in superb style with the handcrafted drinkware items they offer, like hand-painted wine glasses and hand-thrown mugs fashioned by the hearts and hands of skilled artisans. Because each item is individually created by hand, no two will ever be exactly alike. The line of Sealife Wine Glasses of Verona is a show-stopper. Available in various designs like a seahorse, red fish, mermaid, dolphin and turtle, this glassware is handmade in a third-generation workshop in Verona, Italy where ordinary glass is transformed into stunning works of art. Each large format wine glass measures 8.5 inches high and holds 20 ounces, and is certain to add whimsical beach-chic style and an artful element to your wine bar. For hot beverages, the company’s hand-thrown stoneware Nautical Mermaid Mug is another gorgeous ocean-oriented option, and the masculine Mustache Mug is certainly a great fit for Father’s Day. Artisan JoAnn hand-throws each stoneware mug on a wheel, adds hand-cut details and a handle, and then fires, glazes and fires each one again—all from within her Pocono Mountains studio.
photo: Urban Mattress
Urban Mattress – The Perfect Loft Pillow – $70 usd
There might be no more valuable Father’s Day gift than a good night’s sleep, which you can help facilitate for Dad with The Perfect Loft Pillow from Urban Mattress. This impeccable pillow isn’t too hard or too soft thanks to a combination of Tencel —a natural fiber made from the pulp of the eucalyptus tree—and recycled polyester. Together these create an airy and light-feeling pillow, and then the addition of shredded natural latex adds just the right amount of support. The result is a pillow with the perfect amount of loft. What’s more, it’s customizable as the zippered Tencel cover lets users adjust the amount of filling to their individual preferences.
photo: Ozone
Ozone Socks – Starting at $9.50 usd
Ozone designer socks most certainly aren’t your typical Father’s Day sock gifts, as this brand effectively merges fashion and fun. The sock styles from this company are suited for every occasion, and the line includes fashion socks, club socks, novelty socks and even silly socks. This company is passionate about its products, never sacrificing on quality. Their eclectic styles have been seen in some of the industry’s leading fashion magazines over the past decade, helping set benchmarks for what’s cool and hip in footwear. With fresh and innovative concepts, the list of Ozone offerings is impressive and includes shoe socks, safe sox, hemp socks, radionic socks, tattoo socks, motorcycle socks, the replacement sock, and more.
photo: Cherry Americas
Cherry MX Silent Keyboard – $149.99 usd
When you’re wracking your brain for a Father’s Day gift for the guy who seemingly has it all, here’s a thoughtful and practical tech gift idea he’s sure to appreciate. Cherry, the specialist for computer input devices, recently unveiled their MX Board Silent Keyboard—a model based on their notoriously reliable G80-3000 mechanical keyboard design. Cherry combines this tried-and-true bestselling product with its new MX Silent switches to create a device that keeps keyboard noise—whether at home or in a hectic office space—to an absolute minimum. This new high-end keyboard is ideally suited for even volume-sensitive environments such as large open floor plan rooms or community offices, enabling silent keystrokes with Cherry’s patented noise reduction technology, but without sacrificing writing performance…or durability. In fact, Cherry guarantees a service life for this keyboard of over 50 million keystrokes. Functionality features include “N-Key Rollover,” allowing up to 14 keys to be pressed simultaneously without “ghost” keypress effect. Also, the MX Silent-switches have a uniquely shaped rubber pad compared to conventional switches. The MX Board Silent is offered in two versions MX Red or MX Black. Both exhibit linear switching characteristics but differ in the required release force: 45 centi-newtons for the MX Red Silent and for those who prefer a slightly higher resistance, 60 centi-newtons for the MX Black Silent.
For those ‘Boss Dads’ and other personal finance-minded fathers out there who are working tirelessly toward financial freedom, perhaps a new and fresh mindset will help them achieve those goals. Consider this CD series from self-made millionaire Wesley Virgin, which offers techniques intended to transform your mindset and install new beliefs so your goals and desires can be achieved faster. This includes what established millionaires and billionaires do on a monthly basis to “keep the money train moving in their favor,” resetting your relationship with money to that of a wealthy person (despite what’s currently in your bank account), eliminating “wealth destroyers,” the value of having a “millionaire mentor” in your life (and how to attract one), how to utilize body language to your favor, gaining the confidence and assurance needed to realize high-caliber success in a relatively short timeframe and how to push past your comfort zone to see and capitalize on new opportunities, among other tips and techniques. Since much in this video series promotes the power of positive thinking and taking control of one’s own destiny, in tandem with techniques taken from real millionaires and billionaires, with this gift idea Dad could very well listen, learn and laugh all the way to the bank.
For those food and entertaining-oriented dads who spend the majority of time at home in the kitchen undertaking epicurean exploits, here’s an apt assortment of tools to help ease and expedite those culinary endeavors.
photo: SharkNinja Operating LLC
Ninja Coffee Bar System – $199.00 usd
The Ninja Coffee Bar System will bring out the Barista in anyone. Far more than a coffee maker, this able appliance facilitates a coffee house experience in the comfort of your own kitchen. It comes complete with integrated frother, six brew sizes and five brew types, including the Ninja exclusive Café Forte that amplifies and enhances the natural subtle flavors of your favorite coffee. You can make a full carafe for visitors or different individual specialty drinks for yourself every day. The Ninja Coffee Bar System provides endless options for delicious, custom-crafted coffee beverages all without leaving home.
photo: Alumbre Coffee
Alumbre Coffee – $12.50 – $22.00 usd
Another great coffee find for connoisseurs—the bean itself—is from Alumbre Coffee—an exquisitely hand-crafted coffee line hailing from the legendary coffee fields of Costa Rica, Colombia, Sumatra and Ethiopia. Alumbre, named for the river that flows west facing the hills of the Tarrazu region of Costa Rica, is long revered as home to some of the finest coffee farms in the world. With hand-picked coffee beans from heritage growing regions, Alumbre roastmasters expertly coax the most alluring flavor notes to create five ultra-premium coffees. By wholly controlling the process from seed to cup to proffer a luxurious and authentically rich coffee experience, Alumbre Coffee stands apart from other brands. This new exclusive coffee can only be found on the Alumbre website.
photo: SharkNinja Operating LLC
Nutri Ninja Nutri Bowl DUO – $129.00 usd
Here’s a fab find for fitness-minded fathers. With one base and two interchangeable vessels, the 1200-watt Nutri Ninja Nutri Bowl DUO device easily switches from a powerful nutrient and vitamin extractor to a versatile nutrient fusion processor. The nutrient extraction feature unlocks existing hidden vitamins, minerals and other healthy components by blending whole fruits and vegetables, including portions that are normally discarded, and breaking them down to create an array of delicious, nutrient-rich juices and smoothies. The nutrient fusion function creates a blend from foods that contain nutrients like fruits, vegetables and other victuals, transforming diverse, fresh ingredients into flavorful meals, snacks and desserts.
photo: BELLA Housewares
BELLA 2.5L Air Fryer – $99.99 usd
Here’s a way Dad can enjoy “healthier” fried foods in the man cave, the tailgate or pretty much anywhere else, prepared with little to no oil and in a fraction of the time. Whatever you can deep fry, you can air fry with the BELLA 2.5 Air Fryer and save the fat and calories! It’s not just healthier, but also safer, like having a portable convection-type oven at your fingertips. This high-performance system heats food by circulating hot air around it, while the stainless-steel heating element allows for faster heat up (and recovery) resulting in quick and even cooking every time. It’s an efficient and easy-to-use deep fryer alternative, allowing you to indulge in all your favorite fried foods without cheating on your diet.
photo: BELLA Housewares
BELLA 6QT Pressure Cooker – $79.99 usd
Dad always pressed for time? Have a family dinner ready fast with this 6-quart electric pressure cooker also from BELLA. Life’s full of daily pressures and stress, so let this appliance take on the task of helping you prepare a quick and delicious meal for the family or for a get-together with friends. This versatile model comes with 10 pre-programmed functions including sauté, slow cook, stew and steam. It cooks up to 70% faster than conventional cooking and its removable non-stick cooking pot and accessories are dishwasher safe, so clean up is a breeze. Whether you’re whipping up a gourmet meal or looking for good old-fashioned comfort food, the BELLA 6QT Pressure Cooker can make dinnertime a no-brainer.
photo: SharkNinja Operating LLC
Shark Genius Hard Floor Cleaning System – $99.00 usd
Yes cleaning tools are a cool gift idea! Especially since cleaning kitchen and dining room floors in particular can be a huge hassle. These areas receive high traffic and often become messy even after a single cooking session. As so many people today have busy schedules, finding time to thoroughly clean the space can be futile and frustrating. Fortunately, the power of smarter cleaning can be at dad’s fingertips with the Shark Genius Hard Floor Cleaning System. An evolution in hard floor care, this system offers a flexible, tailored, all-in-one solution that delivers easy and convenient cleaning. Direct steam channeling distributes steam over the surface of the pocket, creating an ultra-wide cleaning zone for loosening dirt and grime. Steam blaster technology also targets annoyances like stains, stuck-on food, pet messes, grease and even scuff marks on command. And, since nobody likes changing a dirty, soaked pad during or after mopping, this touch-free technology ensures you’ll never have to. This is a great way to harness the power of steam to clean and sanitize your sealed hard floors with no harsh chemicals, and no residue to boot. It even removes up to 99.9% of common household bacteria.
As the Executive Editor and Producer of “The Luxe List,” Merilee Kern is an internationally-regarded consumer product trends expert and hospitality industry voice of authority–a travel, dining, leisure and lifestyle expert who spotlights noteworthy marketplace innovations, change makers, movers and shakers. She identifies and reports on exemplary travel destinations and experiences, extraordinary events and newsworthy products and services across all categories. Reach her online , on Twitter , on Facebook and on Instagram.
***Some or all of the accommodations(s), experience(s), item(s) and/or service(s) detailed above may have been provided or sponsored at no cost to accommodate this review, but all opinions expressed are entirely those of Merilee Kern and have not been influenced in any way.***
Shaker & Spoon Cocktail Kit Subscription Service
‘The Millionaire Blueprint—Unrevealed Secrets of a Millionaire Mind’ CD Series 
