Rejection. “We lived in Northern New Mexico. I was standing in front of our house drinking a cup of tea. I heard the car drive up and the door bang shut. Then he walked around the corner, and without warning, he told me he was having an affair and he wanted a divorce. I remember the sky and how huge it was. I remember the sound of the river and the steam rising up from my tea. There was no time, no thought, there was nothing–just the light and a profound, limitless stillness. Then I regrouped and picked up a stone and threw it at him.” -Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart
This quote, about the moment Pema Chodron’s life began to change, the moment she experienced true groundlessness, applies to so many circumstances in life. Whether we are experiencing the rejection of a lover or spouse, or rejection from a gallery, grant application, art school, the list goes on and on, it is not uncommon for it to feel like the ground has slipped from beneath your feet. When the floor opens up and swallows you whole, it is human instinct to close up, distract, do whatever it takes to make the feeling go away. These are the moments when we must strive the hardest to open up and soften, allow whatever we are feeling to wash over us, and let that be okay.
If you are an artist, you may have tried applying for a grant. You may have given up after a rejection letter or two. But do you know that for every twenty grant applications you complete, you might receive one or two. Might. There are absolutely no guarantees, and the grant writing field is highly competitive. It is important to understand this going in and to have not only a system to keep churning out applications (because, after all this is an important part of many artists’ income and should be treated as such) it is also absolutely critical that you have your head firmly on your shoulders prepared to deal with the pain of rejection.
Let’s face it, rejection always feels personal. You put a piece of yourself out into the world only to have someone tell you it isn’t what they’re looking for. This hurts. And again, that’s OK.
What is important is that you never let the hurt get the best of you. Do not internalize rejection. Remind yourself that you are one of many. You are relying on the subjectivity of a person or group of people, and just because you do not win favor does not mean your art isn’t any good. Rather, it means your art wasn’t what they were looking for on that day for that particular thing. Accept this and move along.
Often, rejection has nothing at all to do with you. This is very difficult to get the mind around. Very often rejection is about the unspoken details being sought that someone else might happen to present.
Buddhist thought teaches us to accept groundlessness, work with it, allow ourselves to sit with it. We are all in the habit of glossing difficult emotions. We self-medicate sometimes with substances, or by tuning out and not letting the hard stuff in. Begin to notice when you start to check out and see how it feels to just be still with the difficult stuff.
Learning to deal with rejection will serve you in many ways. You will find the strength to continue your mission no matter what happens, and you will do so with grace. You will learn that just because you are not chosen one time doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try again. Often, grants and galleries invite those who are not chosen in one round to apply again. And again. The people who run things like this understand what you must begin to internalize–that it really isn’t about you.
If you begin to incorporate these things into your consciousness, eventually they will become part of the fabric. You will begin to live by the new way of thinking you have cultivated. A mindset that puts rejection into perspective and allows you to pursue your forward momentum no matter what.
Life is full of rejection, big and small. Hiding away won’t get you far. Choosing the path of least resistance may seem like the easy way but it is a road to nowhere. Remember, if you are an Artist choosing to make your art into a career, it means putting the most intimate pieces of yourself out into the world for all to see. It is a warrior’s path and requires a warrior spirit. For the Silo, Brainard Carey.
Brainard is currently giving free webinars on how to write a better Artist bio and statement and how to get a show in a gallery – you can register for that live webinar and ask questions live by clicking here.
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This concern, of course, is not unique and strikes at the heart of something that all those in creative professions fear and must face. The ownership of ideas is difficult to prove. If you tell someone your plan in confidence and they, in turn, use it for their own purposes, there is very little you can do to show that you are the originator. Spreading this rumor is likely to make you look like the bad guy. It’s no wonder that this sort of generosity is cause for concern.
But what about sharing your networks or some trade secrets that helped you get to where you are today? While you may have worked tooth and nail for everything you’ve gained, there were surely people along the way who said yes at the right moment and assisted your progress. No one can ask more than this, and as an artist of a certain standing, there is nothing wrong with offering this sort of help.
No one exists in a vacuum. Even you, who may have scraped and fought your way to where you are today, benefited from the acceptance and help of others. Sure, you may have pounded the pavement endlessly in order to secure your position but that is no reason not to pay forward the success you have achieved. It is too easy to forget, once you have achieved a certain status, the myriad small moments that led you there. While it may seem as though hardly anyone was out to help you in the early days, surely there were some, otherwise you could not be where you are today. Even if it was just a few gallerists who were finally willing to take a chance, there are always rungs of assistance in the ladder to every success, no matter how small.
For these reasons, there is a lot to be said for good old-fashioned face-to-face interaction. Being the sort of artist who is willing to mentor in the real world sets you apart. Establishing this sort of reputation, for being the one who will gladly share the bounty you have created, seldom reverses one’s own success and frequently opens new doors you may never have considered.
Arguably, there is no such thing as original art. Even some of the most contemporary artists’ work is derivative of past creations. Marina Abramovic, in her unique style, has absolutely drawn from (and occasionally been accused of copying) works by other artists. Pablo Picasso (and perhaps more famously, Steve Jobs who quoted him) said, “good artists copy, great artists steal.” This doesn’t mean that you should open yourself up to idea theft, but it does mean that perhaps being stingy with your concepts, your network, your position as an established artist, doesn’t count for as much security as you might think. Be smart about things, but in general, it is always a good idea to reach down the ladder and help those coming up behind you find the next rung. For the Silo, Brainard Carey.
As an artist you will be the recipient of rejection letters and emails. Stacks of them. Count on it. In every creative field, there are piles and piles of rejections to be gone through. Walt Disney was once fired for what his editor deemed a lack of imagination. Countless famous artists throughout history were rejected in their lifetimes, some only achieving posthumous success. Van Gogh, Manet, Turner, they all have in common that they faced painful rejection in their lifetimes. They also have in common that they didn’t give up their unique perspective on the world nor did they allow something as insignificant as rejection stand in the way of their forward momentum.
This year’s exhibition is rooted in Alvin Toffler’s 1970 book, Future Shock. Toffler examined the idea of collective shock as a result of living during a time of extreme change. Spinning out from the ancient curse, “may you live in an era of change” this year’s biennale seeks to disrupt the notion that extreme change is outside the ordinary and instead posits that all of human existence has been based around rotating times of chaos and calm. Open call for the 2017 biennale ended in December, but for future events (the next is slated for 2019) artists are always welcome to contribute their work for consideration.
And in 2015 Saltwater: a theory of thought forms. The 2017 biennial is working in collaboration with the 2017 Istanbul film festival, both of which are exploring the title topic A Good Neighbor. In addition to the contemporary art program, the biennial will include ten feature and five short films all curated by Elmgreen and Dragset. The films (as well as the art) will look at the concept of home as a means of portraying identity and the intricacies of community and co-existence. The 2017 Istanbul Biennial runs from September 16-Novermber 12.
Regardless of your medium, I hope this glance into the minds of two established poets from very different walks of life can help dissipate the intimidating mist between process and product, as well as remind you that the transcendent and the familiar are often one in the same.
Global spectator 
Myles, a breathing artistic currency, treats poetry as an extension of the self with the potency of a movement and the collective memory of a civilization. Myles proves that common experience and abstract phenomena are synonymous when we step back to look.
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Everyone from trendy teens to famous fashionistas can begin exploring the infinite uses this easy-to-follow guide provides to making handbags so fashionable, you won’t actually believe they’re made of duct-tape. Part art-piece, part usable accessory, Fabian Morgan shows how each of these gorgeous handbags can be recreated one manageable section at a time.
