Errrr breaker one. This here’s the Rubber Duck.

CONVOY (1978): Maybe because I knew that director Sam Peckinpah was pretty much reaching new depths of being an irresponsible drug-addled drunk during production, that I figured maybe it would show in this movie, and maybe that’s why I’ve avoided it for so long.

I mean, it’s one thing to have that kind of thing seep into your films about violent assholes defeated-by/defiant-at life, but it seems like something that would fuck up what should otherwise be a fun movie about truckers outrunning the law — based on a fuckin’ hit novelty song, of all things.

And yet, that’s not really the case here. It is a fun movie about truckers outrunning the law, with just the right amount of Peckinpah’s cynical boozy edge to make this stand-out from other similar joints playing at the drive-in around this time. Occasionally, I’d be surprised as I felt the edge poke me, and it was pretty sharp too, with its attitudes towards The Law and the dangers of being Black in America.

But they were welcome surprises.

Of the truckers, Franklyn Ajaye’s “Spider Mike” gets the worst of it from Johnny Pig, on account of his dark skin; Ajaye, by the way, is known mostly as a comedian, and he’s one of those dudes who I’m sure is living well, but I feel should be/should’ve been much bigger. I’m guessing he’s one of those “comedian’s comedian” types, in that he’s super-respected in his field, if not necessarily recognized by the general public.

I’m sure once he’s dead, he’ll become The Most Popular Comedian In The World on social media and everybody and their mother is going to go on about how great he was, the way everybody and their mother suddenly made Mr. Paul Mooney the most popular comedian in the world on social media after he died.

Kris Kristofferson’s “Rubber Duck” is very much a Peckinpah kind of protagonist, with his own code of conduct that might not make sense to others, but allows him to enter his house justified. He also goes shirtless for what seems like half the running time, which made me imagine if Matthew McConaughey ever considered starring in a remake somewhere along the way.

I don’t believe in heroes, but I suppose if I had to pick one, Mr. Kristofferson wouldn’t be a bad one to emulate: Rhodes Scholar, boxer, Army Ranger. He flew helicopters, swept floors, worked on an oil rig, and wrote some of the greatest goddamn songs in the history of music. He was also “Whistler” in the BLADE movies.

Ernest Borgnine plays such a bastard in this one, “Dirty Lyle” is his name, and he’s an oinker of the worst kind: A corrupt cop who shakes down the truckers unlucky enough to drive down his highway.

In real life, Borgnine revealed in an interview that his secret to long life was that he masturbated a lot; later, he said in another interview that he said that because the interviewer wouldn’t let up with that question, and he figured that answer would shut the dude up. In reality, he said, his long life was probably the result of becoming a vegetarian 35 years prior. Now that’s just disgusting and uncalled for, Ernie, you dirty old man.

Anyway, this was good times, man. I think this movie, SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT, and a six-pack of Coors will cure whatever ails ya.

It’s just so 70s in the best of ways, that old-school vibe with dudes talking to each other on the CB, taking showers together in their underwear. Maybe that’s why Ali MacGraw had short hair in this, to mix in easier with the rest of the dudes. #backyardmovienight For the Silo, E.F. Contentment.